


train wreck - reddie

by orphan_account



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, High School, Homophobic Language, Hurt Richie Tozier, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad and Happy, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Teen Angst, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:48:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 23,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Richie Tozier was often the subject to rumours in school, the distant boy was very much a closed book. When he has nowhere else to go, Eddie Kaspbrak’s best friend, Bill Denbrough, takes Richie under his wing and offers him a place to stay.Eddie found the dark haired boy hard to understand, but he never once believed all the rumours. So it comes as a surprise to everyone when Richie doesn’t push away the pretty boy when he gets too close.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 66
Kudos: 265





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this fic seems like something you won't like, simply find something else to read. as the story progresses, so will the characters. thank you to anybody who chooses to read, leave kudos or a comment. <3

Eddie Kaspbrak sits at his desk, slightly frustrated by one of the math equations he can’t complete.

"W-What did yu-you get for eight?" His best friend, Bill Denbrough, asks softly, almost in a whisper.

Eddie fumbles around with the papers in front of him, finding the question Bill needs help with.

"Twenty seven." Eddie replies.

"How the..." Bill trails off, studying his paper again.

It's not unusual for Bill to ask Eddie what answers he gets, he’s not great at math which makes Eddie wonder how he even got into his honours class in the first place.

Another person Eddie can’t believe takes this class is Richie Tozier.

Richie Tozier seems to be the centre of attention for most, despite not engaging with almost anyone. Eddie has seen Bill talk to the taller boy a few times, but Eddie just assumes that’s because Bill is super friendly. Nobody could hate Bill.

Eddie cautiously turns around in his chair, his eyes slowly trail over to the dark haired boy sat at the very back of the class.

Richie sits slouched in his chair, his elbows rest on his desk as he gazes out of the window beside him, which is something he seems to do very often.

The afternoon sun beaming through the window puts purple hues in his almost black hair, his smooth, pale skin can only be compared to an angel’s wing and his large glasses can’t hide the bored, uninterested look in his eyes.

_Maybe he really hates math?_

Eddie’s stomach drops when Richie’s brown eyes meet his. His eyes are expressionless but at the same time intense, it almost takes Eddie’s breath away as he feels the urge to reach for his inhaler in his fannypack.

But instead, Eddie snaps his eyes back down to his paper, feeling stupid for absentmindedly staring at the impossibly beautiful boy sat a few rows behind him.

"You r-ready?" Bill asks, snapping Eddie out of his thoughts.

Eddie looks ahead to see a pool of students flooding out of the classroom doors, so he stands up himself, still slightly flustered.

Eddie and Bill walk side by side as they exit the classroom and make their way through the halls, Bill hitches his backpack further up his shoulder. “Are y-you still sleeping over at m-mine on F-Friday?” Bill asks the distracted boy as they head over to Eddie’s locker.

“Yeah, if you still want me.” Eddie responds, pulling his locker door open before unzipping his backpack.

“’Course,” he says. “We can w-watch the new Star Wars on VHS.” Bill smiles, his dimples deepening as he does so.

Eddie casually places a few of his books neatly in his locker. “Bill, can I ask you something?”

Bill leans on the neighbouring locker, looking down slightly at the smaller boy. “S-Sure.”

“Do you think the rumours about Richie Tozier are true?”

The choppy haired boy furrows his eyebrows. “No. I don’t t-think so.”

Eddie lightly sighs, shutting his locker. He has heard each and every rumour about Richie Tozier, all surfacing through different classes.

_"His parents probably don’t give a shit about him."_

_"Richie Tozier sucks dick for money, I told you he’s a fucking faggot."_

_"He must be hiding something, that’s why he’s so defensive."_

_"Woah, look at his face. Henry Bowers really kicked his ass this time…"_

“I don’t believe ‘em,” Eddie admits. “I _know_ the rumours aren’t true.”

Both boys continue to walk down the halls until they head out the exit and over to their bikes.

“I like R-Richie,” Bill continues. “He’s defended me a f-f-few times.”

Bill grabs his bike, which he calls Silver, the name can be seen clearly displayed over the silver metal of his bike in bold sharpie.

“He has?” Eddie asks quite shocked.

The blue eyed boy nods, guiding Silver out of the bike rack. "He’s nice to people who are k-kind to him.”

“Everyone assumes he d-doesn’t care, but he does for the p-people who m-matter.” Bill adds. “B-Bowers always bullies me for my ss-stutter, and Richie finds a w-way to put that asshole i-in his place.”

Eddie stands near his own bike, intriguingly listening to the soft spoken boy.

“H-He has a good heart, lh-like you.” Bill smiles. “He just doesn’t let everyone see it.”

Eddie reaches over his bike, fumbling with the bike lock before mounting his bike shortly after Bill.

Eddie wants to know more about the misunderstood boy, but it seems that Bill has nothing more to add.

“I g-gotta get h-home before the 7pm curfew,” Bill states, he starts to pedal up the street, still keeping his eyes on Eddie. “S-See you tomorrow!”

Eddie can’t help but smile widely, he admires Bill deeply, and it’s no surprise Richie has taken a shining to Bill also.

Eddie waves back at Bill before pedalling the route home so his mom won’t flip about him missing the new curfew rule.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just putting it out there that i don’t know how american schooling system works so if i mess up and you see british terms or words in general i am sorry.

Eddie and Bill quietly talk in their seats, waiting for the rest of the class to settle down.

“We’re getting assigned partners t-today.” Bill makes known, rolling his long sleeve flannel shirt up to his elbows.

It happens to be a hot day, the temperature in the classroom is almost unbearable, so Eddie’s glad he decided to wear his red gym shorts today.

“How do you know that?” Eddie asks, knowing the teacher didn’t say anything about partners in their previous class.

“I ss-saw a few names on the t-teachers desk.” Bill states, wincing at how hot it is in the classroom before grabbing one of his textbooks and fanning himself with it.

“You kidding me...” Eddie mutters, feeling a bit disappointed at the news.

Eddie hates it when the teacher decides to put them in pairs. If he isn’t with Bill, then he’s paired with someone who just pokes fun at his short stature or the fannypack around his waist, spending more time ridiculing Eddie then actually getting any work done.

Instead of worrying who he will end up with, Eddie starts to scribble down some notes from the projector that he hasn’t noticed until now.

Bill looks away from Eddie for a moment to see the piece of paper assigning students with their partners has been taped to wall at the back of the classroom. Bill stands up to go take a look, nudging Eddie to make him aware of what’s going on, but Eddie doesn’t lift his head up from his notes.

Since Richie is already at the back of the class, he doesn’t need to stand up to see, he simply leans back in his chair and quickly takes a glance at the paper to see who he’s partnered up with.

Eddie Kaspbrak isn’t Richie’s designated partner, but when Richie snaps his gaze to the front of the class and sees Greta Bowie making her way towards Eddie, who’s too busy writing down notes in his textbook to notice. He stands up and abruptly sits down next to Eddie before Greta can.

Greta is anything but nice. Richie has seen her taunt Eddie a few times before, and Richie just doesn’t want to hear her bitching for the remainder of their class.

So he takes it upon himself to pair up with Eddie.

Eddie has yet to look up at his partner, but when he does turn around, he’s surprised to see Richie Tozier slouched in the seat beside him, facing ahead.

Eddie stays quiet until he eventually decides to speak up.

“So... what questions do you wanna do?” Eddie asks, looking up at Richie who’s still staring forward. Eddie’s eyes roam over Richie’s defined cheekbones, then to his sharp jawline, his features surely sculpted by God himself.

Richie looks over to Eddie, and the sweet chocolate pair of eyes looking back at him reminds him of a puppy. He takes his eyes away from the chestnut haired boy, scanning over the papers sat on Eddie’s desk.

“Maybe we could exchange notes at the end, since we have a test soon.” Eddie suggests, his heart slamming against his ribcage.

Eddie can feel himself starting to sweat, he figures it’s because it’s really hot, and not because he’s nervous around Richie.

Richie isn’t intimidating, no, not at all. So why is he so nervous? The rumours didn’t define him, even if they were true…

Both boys split up their questions before making a start on their work. Eddie scans over his paper and realises he’s struggling a lot, unlike Richie who seems to be answering the questions with such ease.

Eddie knows that Richie gets good grades, great even. He always achieves A’s and B’s in his schoolwork, but that’s pretty much all Eddie knows about him.

Eddie finds the confidence to ask Richie for some help, hoping he won’t shrug or ignore him completely. “I’m not sure how to do this one…” he trails off.

Richie stops writing, shifting his body closer to Eddie’s before adjusting his glasses. His face only inches away from the smaller boy as he re-reads the question that confuses Eddie.

“You multiply both sides by X.” Richie explains, taking his pencil and drawing little arrows where each number should cross on Eddie’s page. Richie looks up at Eddie occasionally, seeing if the flushed boy understands each step.

Eddie gulps, nodding each time Richie looks up at him. But Eddie still has no idea how to work out the equations, he can’t seem to concentrate with Richie so close to him.

Soon enough, the bell rings and Richie stands up, throwing random papers into his backpack. Eddie follows pursuit, slowly packing up his bag.

“Thanks,” Eddie speaks, his voice almost getting caught in his throat. “For helping me with those questions.”

Richie nods, not showing much emotion. He doesn’t know why he decided to partner with Eddie, or why he helped him with a few questions, but he can’t deny that the pretty boy and his presence makes him feel a sense of comfort that he has never felt before.


	3. Chapter 3

Eddie walks up to Bill’s front porch, ringing the doorbell that plays the familiar tune he’s used to hearing every Friday night.

The original plan was for Bill and Eddie to bike straight to Bill's after school, but Eddie’s mother insisted he come home first.

Eddie’s mother, Sonia, is the epitome of overbearing. It is a miracle of sorts when she let’s Eddie leave the house, be it going to the movies, or staying the night at his close friends house.

It’s the reason Eddie is so precautious himself; he carries around a fannypack full of first aid supplies and his medication, just in case anything were to happen to him out of the house.

Eddie feels suffocated at times, but he knows his mother only wants what is best for him.

Bill's parents, Sharon and Zack Denbrough, usually let Bill have free reign of the house when he has company. It is clear they trust Bill, and they also care for him without being smothering, despite the loss of their youngest son, Georgie.

The front door slowly opens, revealing Bill on the other side.

Eddie picks up his overnight bag off of the ground, it has some weight to it, so Bill takes it from him as he enters the Denbrough residence.

Their sleepovers always take place in Bill's basement, not in his bedroom. Despite being scared of the dark, Eddie prefers the basement because it’s disconnected, offering more independence and privacy Eddie rarely ever gets to experience.

Bill descends down the basement stairs, Eddie follows close behind him. But Bill abruptly stops before they reach the bottom, making Eddie bump his chest into Bill’s shoulder.

Eddie looks at the back of Bill’s head confused, he’s about to yell at him for messing around, but Bill turns around with a slight frown on his face.

“You’ve gotta b-be quiet.” Bill says in a hushed tone before stepping down the last few steps.

This only confuses Eddie more, but he doesn’t question it until he reaches the bottom of the wooden basement steps and sees somebody hunched up on the suede couch.

“Why is Richie Tozier sleeping on your couch?!” Eddie asks Bill, lowering his voice slightly in fear of waking the dark haired boy.

Eddie analyses his partner that helped him with his paper yesterday; a thin, purple blanket rests over Richie’s lower half, the Freeze’s t shirt he’s seen wearing most of the time is dirty, and his glasses are slightly crooked on his face from laying on his side.

“He h-has no one else,” Bill replies, sympathetically looking over to the broken boy. “He’ll be s-staying with muh-my parents and I f-for awhile.”

Eddie just stands there, not knowing what else to do. He watches Bill place his overnight bag down, and then he grabs the TV remote close to Richie’s feet, lowering the volume.

Eddie cautiously walks further in the room, looking up at Bill then back over to Richie. “What happened?” Eddie asks out of concern, not curiosity.

“His p-parents kicked him out,” Bill heavily sighs, running a hand over his face. “M-my parents, they know the Tozier’s, so they let him s-stay.”

Eddie gulps, not being able to comprehend how Richie’s own parents can throw him out with just the clothes on his back.

Richie begins to stir and it only makes Eddie panic. Bill on the other hand, lives up to his leader qualities by staying calm and composed.

“I can go,” Eddie offers. “He’s probab-“

Richie sits up, adjusting his glasses that have slipped from his face. His tired eyes first land on Bill, who gives him a comforting smile, then, he looks slightly to his right, and sees the timid boy who looks like he’s just seen a ghost.

“You don’t have to go because of me,” Richie tells Eddie, sounding psychically and mentally exhausted. “Just pretend I’m not here.”

Eddie warily looks over to Bill, who crouches down near the couch by Richie’s side. “Do y-you w-want me to gu-get you anything?” Bill asks softly, his kind eyes looking up at Richie.

If this were anyone else, Richie would tell them to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine, but Bill has an aura about him that feels so genuine and safe, his heart surely is made from gold.

Richie only shakes his head, pulling the cover up to his neck before turning over on the couch.

Eddie feels as though he has imposed on something not meant for his eyes, seeing Richie in such a vulnerable state is something he didn’t think he would ever see.

Emotions are a different language in themselves, something that not everyone understands. But it is clear that Richie’s blank stillness is the only emotion he’s capable of experiencing at such an unwanted part in his life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter seems angsty on the surface but it's not as bad as you might think.

The rest of the night goes by with Eddie taking small glances at Richie every time he moves a muscle in his sleep; Eddie notes that the sound of the lightsabers from Star Wars quietly playing in the background makes Richie flinch.

Bill doesn’t seem to notice, he’s too engrossed in the movie, tilting his head back and laughing every time he finds something funny, exposing his sunshine smile that Eddie loves so much.

Now, Eddie makes himself comfortable in his sleeping bag, next to Bill but also pretty near to the couch where Richie has been sleeping for most of the evening.

Eddie turns over on his side, looking at the luminous red numbers on his watch.

**11:53PM**

Usually, Eddie is the first to fall asleep. But this time, he can’t seem to drift off, not when Richie sleeps inches away from him.

He doesn’t know why the hurt boy got kicked out, hell, it’s likely Bill has no clue either, all he knows is that his heart aches just as silent as Richie’s.

Eddie closes his eyes, he tries to imagine sheep jumping over hurdles, counting as each one passed, but that old trick doesn’t seem to work.

On sheep number six, Eddie loses count when he hears almost inaudible groans coming from behind him. He doesn’t know if to ignore it, or maybe wake up Bill since he always knows what to do.

Eddie sits up slightly, trying to make out if Richie’s awake or not, but that proves to be difficult in the dark basement.

“Are you okay?” Eddie speaks, his voice sounding sweeter than any angelic melody could ever desire to.

Silence follows, and Eddie thinks it must have been his paranoid imagination, but much to his surprise, Richie responds.

“No, not really,” Richie’s voice croaks, like he’s attempting to hold back a coughing outburst.

Eddie un-tucks himself from his sleeping bag, staying on his knees as he moves closer to Richie. His movement sensors dim lights near the basement stairs, so Eddie can see Richie much more clearly now.

Richie’s hunched over, one arm is pressed over his abdomen, the other is holding him up. His midnight mop of curls cling to his forehead as he holds in a shaky breath.

“Wh-What’s wrong?” Eddie asks, trying to conceal the fear in his high pitched voice.

Over the past few hours, Richie had tried to hide his pain. He didn’t want to alarm Bill, or make anyone else worry. He already felt like a burden enough, so he made an effort to sleep off his injuries.

But ignoring it was never going to heal his pain.

Feeling helpless and alone, Richie lets his guard down, just for tonight.

“My side hurts.” Richie winces as he props himself further up the couch.

Eddie looks up at the injured boy, his eyes raw with emotion that leave a pain in his soul, and Eddie somehow understands Richie doesn’t want to talk about it.

Eddie kicks into action, reaching over to his fannypack right next to his sleeping bag. He can’t see any bleeding over his shirt, so that must mean…

“It’s just some bruising,” Richie tells the wide eyed boy next to his side. Richie pulls down his shirt even though Eddie never lifted it up, a clear indicator he didn’t want Eddie to touch him, not like that. “I just need some Advil.”

_Who would want to hurt Richie?_

Eddie nods, pulling out an orange pill bottle from his fannypack. He hands two small pills to Richie, his butterscotch fingertips brushing Richie’s own calloused hand.

“Do you - need water?!” Eddie asks nervously, looking around for a water bottle or a glass of water, anything he could to help ease Richie’s pain.

Eddie grabs his backpack, pulling out a small carton of apple juice that he never opened at lunch; Richie watches Eddie jab the straw into the cardboard carton, and then he carefully holds the juice up to Richie’s lips. Richie places the pills in his mouth, drinking some of the apple juice to wash them down.

And a sense of relief immediately washes over Richie, knowing the pain will fade off eventually.

Eddie’s doe eyes don’t leave the exhausted boy, as if he’s scared that Richie might have a heart attack and die right in front of him.

Richie might be good at hiding whatever he’s feeling, but he can’t hide the exhaustion on his face, that’s for sure.

Richie eventually succumbs to sleep, a peaceful slumber this time around. His chest slowly rises and falls with each passing breath from his chapped, busted lip.

Eddie sighs, adrenaline still pumping through his body. He covers Richie’s chest back up with the thin, purple blanket before crawling back to his sleeping bag on the floor.

Eddie is not sure if Richie will remember his first night at Bill's in the morning, even if he happens to remember, he’s sure it will become unspoken of between the two of them.

Richie wouldn’t want to admit that he needed someone, that he was scared or that he really wanted his mom even though she turned his back on him without a second thought.

But Richie wasn’t alone, not tonight. He had someone who didn’t turn his back on him, a person who actually wanted to help him without expecting anything in return.

And that, Richie would never forget.


	5. Chapter 5

A few weeks pass by, and the incident in Bill’s basement between the two boys hasn’t been mentioned since. Eddie doesn’t even tell Bill, and he usually tells that boy _everything_.

Bill and Eddie head over to the locker rooms, they both take the same gym class, and it’s the one class the pair hates mutually.

“How long is Richie going to be staying at your place?” Eddie asks Bill quietly.

If anyone were to find out Richie has no place to go, and how his parents kicked him out, it would only cause unnecessary chaos, for Richie, and Bill too.

Bill shrugs. “As luh-long as he needs.”

Bill and Richie had unintentionally grown closer, day by day. Richie chose to stay in the basement on his own, not wanting to intrude on the picture perfect family upstairs. But Richie soon found out that Bill’s life wasn’t perfect, no, he had gone through his own struggles too.

Richie had seen some pictures placed around the basement, something unusual to him since his parents didn’t have any family pictures up in his own home.

The pictures included a little boy Richie had never seen nor met before. In one of the photos, the little boy hugs at Bill’s waist, the pair displaying a genuine smile on their faces. Richie could tell they were _brothers_ , they both shared the same soft features and kind eyes.

Bill had come down one night to check on Richie, he brought him a sandwich and sat with the distant boy for awhile. It was then the boys had a heart to heart, Bill told Richie about his little brother, Georgie, along with the guilt that weighed on him so heavily since the day he passed away.

And Richie, it was harder for him to open up, he tried, but failed, and instead filled his mouth with the food Bill had brought him.

But Bill seemed to understand, and for that Richie was grateful.

Eddie can see for himself that Bill and Richie have slowly started to gain each other’s trust; Richie has been walking with Bill to and from school, talking more and more each day. He doesn’t need to keep his guard up all the time, not around Bill or Eddie.

Eddie walks into the changing rooms and the stench of sweat instantly fills his nostrils. He glances around trying to find a place to change away from everyone, preferably near a window to keep his asthma at bay.

The previous class are still getting changed back into their regular clothes, so Eddie and Bill silently get undressed, not wanting to clash with the students that are clearly more athletic than themselves.

Eddie pulls his gym sweatshirt over his head, which ruffles up his hair slightly. When he pops his head out from the opening, he is met face to face with his bully, no other than Henry Bowers.

Eddie stands silent, and a nervous pit in his stomach deepens by each second.

“Hey faggot,” Henry snickers, his face painted with a snarl.

Eddie avoids eye contact, bumping into Bill slightly from taking a few steps back, but his actions only make him appear weak.

“Hey, I’m talking to you freak.” Henry snaps, forcefully pushing Eddie back.

“H-Hey, b-back off,” Bill shoves Henry’s arm away, his features stricken with annoyance.

Henry’s eyes narrow dangerously at the pair as the whole locker room falls silent.

“Oh, I get it,” Henry patronisingly laughs. “You’re protecting your boyfriend, B-B-Billy?” He mocks Bill’s stutter. “You got a free ride last year because of your brother, rides over Denbrough.”

Bill swallows nervously, the confidence leaving his body at the mere mention of his little brother, the only thing anybody could bring up that leaves Bill speechless, his only instinct to recoil in on himself.

Eddie can feel his heart start to beat out of control; he wants nothing more than to punch the smug smile off of Henry’s face, but Eddie doesn’t feel capable of defending himself with his fists, so he just glares down Henry before averting his gaze once more.

“What? Both of you have nothing to say?” He spits, slowly advancing on Eddie.

Unaware to Bill and Eddie, Richie had heard every homophobic slur and harsh remark.

Richie had finished changing, and he was just about to leave, until he saw Henry Bowers corner the two boys that had showed him more kindness in the past few weeks than anybody had done in his whole life.

“Fucking answer me!” Henry shouts, shoving Eddie backwards, his back harshly collides with the wall behind him.

Eddie flinches, and then Henry grabs him by the collar of his sweatshirt. But before he can hurt the small boy any further, someone jumps into the heat of it all.

“Hey! Henry, fuck off.” Richie boldly gets in between the two; his back facing Eddie, shielding the boy away from the unfair fight unfolding right in front of his eyes.

“Come on, dude, he’s just a kid.” Richie says.

Richie usually didn’t get involved in Henry’s fights; he’d only tell Henry to back off once in awhile, sometimes Henry would listen, and other times he would just beat up Richie instead. Either way, it was a risk Richie felt worth taking, because he’d gladly take Eddie and Bill’s place and put it all on himself if he could.

Richie stands his ground although he feels like he’s shrinking under Henry’s evil stare. Henry comes closer to Richie, his face inches away from the lanky boy.

“Richie Tozier, you’re protecting a bunch of freaks?” Henry laughs maliciously.

Richie gulps, not moving an inch, he won’t let Henry Bowers knock him down, because he already feels as though he’s at rock bottom.

“What do you have, huh?” Henry smirks. “Nobody gives a shit about you.”

“We all know _what_ you are, the dirty things you do for money,” Henry leans in close to Richie’s ear. “Pathetic.” He whispers with a smirk.

Before Henry can utter another word, Bill regains his courage and pushes Henry away from his friends, no, his _family._

“Just fucking leave us alone.” Bill doesn’t stutter once, his eyebrows furrow in anger.

Henry looks down at the three boys, and it’s then he sees when they’re together, he can’t hurt them.

Not when they have each other.


	6. Chapter 6

Later that day, Eddie decides to finish up some homework in the school’s library, only he loses track of time, staying way later than planned. He couldn’t stop thinking about Richie defending him in the locker room a few hours earlier.

Despite Richie’s unbothered front he displays, he _does_ care.

Eddie packs up his things before going outside. The restless summer air pinches at his skin as the sun sets, and the streetlights make an appearance as the night grows darker.

Eddie didn’t bring his bike to school today, so he takes the route home on foot. The further he walks down the street and through shortcuts, the more anxious he gets; his mom would have an aneurysm if she knew he was walking through alleyways, especially in the dark. In fact, Eddie is sure his mom has already called the police, maybe even put up missing posters of his face all over Derry.

He picks up his pace, turning down Costello Ave, which is around the corner from Witchham Street.

And that’s were Bill lives, not Eddie.

 _No, this can’t be right…_ Eddie thinks.

Every street starts looking the same, so Eddie concludes that he must have turned the wrong way.

It’s not like Eddie is unfamiliar with the streets of Derry, he’s always biking through the small town and past distinctive locations with Bill, but he doesn’t have Bill to navigate this time around.

To make matters worse, Eddie sees a car that belongs to one of Henry’s friends, Belch Huggins, in the far distance. So Eddie hesitates, wanting to turn back the way he came.

But before he can figure out his bearings, his shoulder is roughly yanked to the side, so he’s now out of sight in one of the alleyways.

Eddie looks up, fearing the worst. But instead he is met with familiar black curls and the smell of cigarettes.

“Richie?” Eddie says in surprise, looking up at the taller boy who faces him inches away in the alleyway, their bodies almost pressed up against one another.

Richie’s gaze peers over Eddie’s head, cautiously looking out for Bowers and his gang.

“Fuck, Eds,” Richie mutters. “It’s dangerous around here.” He adds.

Eddie’s shocked to hear Richie call him ‘Eds’, a nickname he’s not sure he likes, but he lets it slide just this once.

Eddie huffs. “I think I took a wrong tu-”

Before Eddie can finish his sentence, Richie places a hand over Eddie’s mouth to stop him from talking. The two boys can hear Henry Bowers obnoxiously shouting down the street, along with the sound of shattering beer bottles.

If the two boys weren’t in close proximity before, they definitely are now. The only thing that can be heard is their shallow breathing along with distant chatter.

Eddie peers up at the taller boy, who’s too busy looking over his shoulder; under the amber street lights, Eddie can see previous scars cover Richie’s moondust skin, his faint freckles resemble the stars above them that vaguely flicker through the inky charcoal of the night sky.

He’s far more beautiful than any girl (or boy) Eddie has ever seen.

Eddie hears the car engine rev and the noise of the bullies fade out down the street, only then does Richie take his hand away.

Richie exhales in relief, his composure becoming less tense. “Come on, I’ll walk you back home.”

Richie exits the alleyway, looking back at Eddie who eventually catches on and quickly comes to Richie’s side.

As the pair walk in silence, Eddie unzips his fannypack, pulling out some hand sanitizer.

“Here,” Eddie says, holding out the bottle waiting for Richie to pull out his hands from the pockets of his denim jacket.

The small boy squeezes some of the gel into Richie’s palms, then into his own hands before putting the bottle away. The gel stings Richie’s hands, but he doesn’t make that known.

Richie looks over to Eddie and realises he completely invaded his germ free bubble, something Bill had told him not to do when Richie once asked Bill about the fannypack always strapped around Eddie’s waist.

“Shit.” He curses under his breath, but Richie doesn’t beat himself up over his mistake, not when the boy with the constellation of freckles sprinkled across his strawberry cheeks looks up at him with a closed smile.

“Why were you out late anyways?” Eddie asks.

Richie stuffs his hands back in his pockets. “I went out for a smoke,” Richie pulls out the packet of Marlboro cigarettes from his pocket. “I wasn’t blowing dick in an alleyway if that’s what you thought...”

”No! I- I didn’t think that at all,” Eddie defends, casting his eyes to the ground. “I mean, I don’t listen to rumours.”

Richie doesn’t respond, instead the two boys continue to walk in silence.

Eddie decides to change the subject when he remembers that he’s going to the arcade with Bill on Friday. Eddie doesn’t know if Bill has already asked Richie if he wants to come, and although it’s only Tuesday, he decides to ask him, hoping he will say yes.

“Do you want to go to the arcade with me and Bill on Friday?” Eddie asks in one quick breath as they turn down Eddie’s street.

“You want me there?” Richie responds. Richie already spends so much time with Bill through no fault of his own, so he’s shocked Eddie would even ask, are they not sick of him yet?

“No, I thought I’d ask just to mess with you.” Eddie rolls his eyes sarcastically. “Bill knows how to rig the system so we get unlimited tokens,” he adds. “He’s probably really excited to show somebody else.”

Eddie turns to face Richie, stopping just before he reaches his house.

“Do you know where to go from here?” Richie asks, not knowing which house is Eddie’s.

“Yeah, it’s a few houses down,” Eddie replies honestly. “It’s just- my ma would freak out if she thought I missed curfew because I was hanging out with _friends_.” Eddie says a little embarrassed. “So it’s best if she doesn’t see you.”

“Oh,” Richie steps back a little, assuming the single house with the lights on is Eddie’s house.

Richie thinks about how Eddie’s mom has been waiting for him to come home probably since he stepped foot out of the house. And his parents, they wouldn’t wait for him to come home, or care if he never showed up again.

“Well, it’s getting cold,” Richie huffs. “You better get inside where it’s warm.”

Eddie doesn’t move, so Richie has to assure him again. “I’ll be fine walking back, go on.” Richie waves him off, his hands still in his pockets. “I’ll meet you in the arcade with Bill, _Friday_.”

Eddie walks up to his front porch after hearing Richie accept his invite. And once Richie sees Eddie walk up the two steps to his front door, he turns around to leave until Eddie calls out to him.

So Richie turns back around, waiting for him to speak.

“Thank you for walking me _home_.”


	7. Chapter 7

Eddie cautiously enters the arcade, the amusement place filled with glowing screens and neon lights is extremely busy, which he expected for a Friday.

Eddie manoeuvres around distracted teens, and the sound of their chattering and cheering soon fades out over the pinball game chiming the further he travels down the arcade.

Eddie looks around, trying to spot a familiar face. Bill told him they would meet him inside, so they can’t be too far out of sight.

And when Eddie turns past the coin exchange machine, he sees Richie and Bill sat on a nearby bench. Bill’s cherry sorbet lips match the red slush puppie in his hand, talking and smiling at the four eyed boy sat next to him.

Richie is attentively watching Bill, moving in closer to try and hear the soft spoken boy over the loud atmosphere. Richie’s wearing a blue and yellow windbreaker, the neon colours fade in with the lambent lights surrounding them.

Eddie walks over to the pair, earning their attention.

“Eddie, wuh-we thought you’d never s-show!” Bill yells with a smile on his face.

Bill stands up, pulling out a bunch of tickets and tokens from the pocket of his jeans. “I ss-showed Richie h-how to cheat the system!”

Richie stands up, putting a hand on Bill’s shoulder. “Maybe don’t shout out for everyone to hear, aye Bill?”

Bill nods, the smile on his face doesn’t leave his daffodil cheeks. “You sh-should see how good R-Richie is at Street Fuh-Fighter.” He tells Eddie.

“Yeah shortstack, maybe I could teach you a thing or two.” Richie says to Eddie.

Eddie notices the confidence Richie carries when in the arcade, it’s as if he’s in his element and the games that he’s surrounded by take him away from all of his worries and fears.

Bill urges Richie over to arcade game called Street Fighter, so Eddie follows with a bounce in his step. The boys put in a token and wait eagerly for the game to start.

Eddie stands on his tip toes, peering over Richie’s shoulder as he aggressively presses buttons and controls, the glowing screen reflecting and bouncing off of his glasses.

Richie notices Eddie’s wondering eyes, so he takes his view away from the game, only for a second, and he sees how Eddie’s chestnut streaked hair shines in the lights, the small boy runs a hand through his fluffy hair, looking up at Richie with a fond smile painted on his peach lips.

 _Fuck… this boy is pretty._ Richie thinks briefly.

Pretty is an odd word to use for a guy, controversial maybe. But that’s the right word he would use for Eddie Kaspbrak.

Richie’s eyes dart back to the screen, he presses the buttons harder, and with some encouragement from Bill and Eddie, he wins the game.

“You must spend a lot of time in here to be _that_ good.” Eddie says, putting emphasis on the word ‘that’.

The arcade had always been an escape for Richie, before Bill came into his life and took him under his wing, Richie always stopped off at the arcade after school, on weekends, and over summer break… it was better than being at home.

But this time, he’s not playing Street Fighter in the arcade alone, he’s surrounded by people he’s grown to love, their friendship blossoming like shrub roses in summer. With such a beautiful friendship grows trust and confidence, and it’s theirs to keep.

Richie doesn’t feel like he has to hold back as much anymore, and it’s very apparent from the jokes and impressions he’s been spewing out lately.

“Beats spending it inside your mother.” The quick witted response escapes from Richie’s lips.

Mom jokes are something Richie never uses freely, something only recently reserved for Eddie. And subconsciously, it’s Richie’s way of telling Eddie that he likes him, without actually saying it.

“That’s- fucking disgust, God,” Eddie scoffs, scrunching his face up at the very boy he secretly longs for, foul mouth and all.

Richie chuckles, and Eddie thinks it’s the first time he’s heard Richie laugh, the sound is a sweetness that reminds him of sweet coconut milk.

Richie adjusts his glasses, looking over to Bill who points over to a vacant photobooth. “H-How about a photo?” Bill suggests.

The trio don’t hesitate to make their way towards the booth before anyone else does, Eddie pulls back the red velvet curtain, entering first, then Richie follows, and so does Bill.

Bill places a few cents in the coin slot and draws the curtains shut as they figure out how they’re all going to fit on the camera lens. Bill sits down on the small bench, and so does Richie. But with their feet stepping over each other, Eddie becomes unbalanced and stumbles backwards onto Richie’s lap without much force. The back of Eddie’s head hits Richie’s nose, and Richie accidentally breaths in the scent of strawberry shampoo from his soft hair.

Feeling slightly embarrassed, Eddie goes to stand back up, but Richie wraps his arms around the small boys waist. “If you wanted to sit on my lap, Eds, you could have just asked.” He jokes.

Surprisingly, Richie doesn’t mind that the small boy is so close, it wouldn’t be the first time. If anything they fit together like a puzzle piece.

The only thing that bothers Eddie, however, is the nickname Richie calls him.

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie tells him. “My name is _Eddie_ , not Eds.”

“I’ve never met someone who didn’t like a nickname,” Richie trails off. “I even got a nickname for Bill,” Richie looks over to Bill next to his side, his chin brushes over Eddie’s shoulder. “Haven’t I, Big Bill?”

Bill’s not really listening, he’s more focused on getting everyone in frame, not wanting to mess up the photos and waste his few cents.

And when the photobooth counts down, the three boys can’t hold back their smiles, they pull funny faces for some and Bill even leans in and kisses Eddie’s cheek on one of the photos.

Cramped in the small photobooth, it’s in that moment they’re all smiles, photographing memories to last a life time.

And for a moment they feel no fear, they feel free.


	8. Chapter 8

Eddie begins his walk home from school, he looks up at the grey sky as rain starts to pelt down on his exposed skin.

_Great..._

The raindrops falling down from the sky reminds him of Richie, because earlier today the rain seemed to be a clear representation of how Richie felt; Eddie could see the despair in his body language, and as the gentle rainclouds formed in Richie’s sky for everybody to ignore, the rain is only felt by one sunshine boy who’s now caught in the storm.

A few weeks have passed since their trip to the arcade, and Eddie thought Richie was doing okay, living with Bill and all. But today, Richie seemed more zoned out than usual. The majority of the class he sat slouched with his head buried in the crook of his elbow, and Eddie couldn’t tell if he was actually awake or not.

Some days, Richie pulls out a silly voice when Eddie asks him for help with his work, or he shares a few jokes with Bill who sits two rows ahead in their math class. Then other days, Richie is colder than the strong wind that whips at Eddie’s face and turns his nose and cheeks claret red.

Eddie takes his backpack off of his shoulders and places it over his head, picking up his pace as he keeps his head low to avoid the rains abrasive impact.

Eddie makes an impulsive decision to walk down one of the shortcuts, he should have learned his lesson from last time, but he doesn’t want to be in the rain for too long in case he catches a cold.

However, deciding to take a detour ends up being a good thing for Eddie when he sees a soaked Richie sat on one of the benches that provides a small amount of shelter, but not enough to shield him from the harsh elements.

Eddie glances up through the violent downpour and his stomach drops at the sight of him; Richie’s black hair drips with angel tears from the heavens above as he leans forward to stub his cigarette out on the ground, and his jean jacket with the wool collar has changed a deeper shade of blue from absorbing all the rain.

“What the fuck?!” Eddie calls out, walking closer to Richie.

Richie snaps his head up after hearing the sound of Eddies voice. He heavily inhales, preparing himself for the lecture he’s about to receive from the worrisome boy.

Since being in Eddie Kaspbrak’s presence, Richie has learned a lot about him; not only does he carry around one fannypack, he carries around two. He knows what causes every illness and disease, because God forbid he or his friends get sick, and he’s aware of every step in the first aid 101 handbook.

But most importantly, he is an expert at panicking over harm that comes Richie’s way, because he just wants him to be safe.

“I thought I told you not to walk through alleyways and shit.” Richie tells him, but his words fall on deaf ears since Eddie is so much more concerned about Richie, looking at the state of him.

“Do you know you can catch hypothermia out here?!” Eddie tells him. “I mean, it only takes 5 minutes for your body temperature to drop and then you’re dead.”

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist,” Richie says in a terrible British accent. “I’ve never known anybody die when it’s raining cats and dogs outside, guv'nor!”

Eddie looks down at him unamused. It’s taken a long time for Eddie to try and understand Richie; his jokes, voices and impressions are all just a front, Richie can effortlessly use humour to mask what he’s feeling, but Eddie can see right through him.

Eddie has always worried about Richie since the day he ended up on Bill’s couch in the dark basement, which seems like a distant memory now.

“Why aren’t you at home?” Eddie asks, his voice soft and quiet, he knows the boy beautiful as a million moons is hurting.

“Because…” Richie trails off. “It’s not _my_ home.”

Eddie could tell something was up with Richie recently, and it breaks his heart that Richie feels so unwanted. But it’s hard to feel wanted by a family that aren’t yours, when Richie’s own parents make him feel anything but loved.

“A home doesn’t have to be a _place_ , Richie, it’s the _people_ who make you feel at home,” Eddie continues. “Someone who can build a home in your heart.”

“You can stay over at mine for the night.” Eddie offers, looking at Richie through his long wet eyelashes, his sopping hair clings to his forehead.

“No, I can’t.” Richie replies, spitting out some of the rain that runs down his face and drips from his lips.

“Why can’t you?” Eddie frowns. “I can call Bill and tell him you’re staying with me tonight.”

“I don’t want to be a burden.” Richie replies honestly, unable to lie around someone so pure and selfless.

“You’re _not_ a burden, Richie.” Eddie reassures. He grasps Richie’s cold hand, pulling him up from the bench. “My ma can’t find out, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” Eddie smiles.

Richie’s stomach twists as he looks at Eddie, his innocent chocolate eyes pull at his heart strings like a heavenly harp, and it’s only then Richie realises Eddie _feels_ like home.


	9. Chapter 9

“Sorry it’s messy.” Eddie apologises, smuggling Richie inside his bedroom, quickly closing his door shut before his mother can catch him.

Richie looks around Eddie’s bedroom and the only ‘mess’ he can see is the empty prescription packaging sat on the asthmatic boys desk. If Eddie thinks his room is messy, he wants to see Richie’s bedroom back at his parents’ house.

Eddie’s room is large and spacious, he has a lamp turned on, filling the room with warm orange hues even though it’s not even pitch black outside. But Richie’s aware that Eddie’s scared of the dark, so it makes sense.

Eddie opens his closet, rummaging around for some clothes that might fit Richie, only, Eddie is much smaller than the average 16 year old, whereas Richie is far taller.

Eddie pulls out a yellow t shirt that has a green angry car on the front, the t shirt is oversized on Eddie, so maybe it will fit Richie.

Richie stands behind Eddie, watching him rummage through his closet, and he can’t help but feel butterflies in his stomach, their beautiful wings flutter so intensely that Richie almost feels sick.

Eddie then finds Richie a pair of striped pyjama pants. “These are Bill’s, but I’m sure they’ll fit you.” Eddie says before throwing Richie the set.

“You can go take a shower in the bathroom next door.” Eddie says.

“What about you?” Richie asks, holding the freshly washed clothes close to his body that smell like Eddie, the lavender fabric softener fills his senses, lingering in meadows of violet moonlight.

“I’ll take a shower later,” Eddie says. “I think you need one more than me.”

“Shit, Eds…” Richie continues. “Could you be any more subtle?” His tone dripping with sarcasm.

“You know what I mean,” he says. “And don’t call me that.” Eddie opens his bedroom door and walks over to the bathroom, he starts the shower for Richie before grabbing him a towel.

When he comes back, he sees Richie waiting in his room patiently, looking at all of the pill bottles set on Eddie’s nightstand.

“You can go take a shower now,” Eddie tells him. “Just make sure you’re quiet.”

“I guess singing in the shower is off the table then?” Richie tuts, pretending to be disappointed.

Eddie chuckles, but then quickly goes quiet when he remembers his mom is just downstairs. “Just go take a shower, Rich,” Eddie instructs. “ _No_ singing.”

Richie nods and heads towards the bathroom, the door gently clicks behind him.

“Where’s the lock on your door?” Richie asks, fumbling with the door handle a few times as if the lock would magically appear.

“We don’t have one,” Eddie says quietly. “You’re fine, I’ll wait outside the door.”

Eddie hears the shower curtain glide against the rod, and he releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He waits outside the door, listening to the gentle sound of running water on the other side.

“Eddie bear?” The voice of his mother startles him as her heavy footsteps travel up the stairs.

“Fuck…” Eddie whispers, the feeling of both panic and dread wash over him in unsettling waves.

His mother reaches the top of the stairs to see her precious boy with rosy cold cheeks and damp hair stood wide eyed outside the bathroom door.

“Eddie? What happened to you?!” Sonia says in concern, her voice getting higher with every word. She comes closer to Eddie, so Eddie presses his back against the door, guarding the bathroom and placing a hand on the door handle.

“I just got caught in the rain momma, that’s all.” Eddie says, turning his face away from his overbearing mother when she grabs his chin and inspects his face.

"Honey, what if you’ve caught a cold?" She asks, then inquisitively looks over to the bathroom door he’s stood behind.

Eddie notices this, so he says. “That’s why I’m about to get in the shower, I’m just- waiting for it to warm up.”

“Dear, you don’t want it too hot, let me check the temperature- “

“No!” Eddie interjects, pressing his back further up the door. “I can do it ma.”

Eddie’s mother waits, and Eddie realises she’s not going to leave until he goes in there to inform her on the temperature.

So Eddie opens the bathroom door before quickly closing it shut, the sound of the door being slammed shut earns Richie’s attention, so he pokes his head from behind the shower curtain; his vision is blurred without his glasses, but he can make out that the person who’s entered is Eddie, and not his overweight mother.

“What the fuck?!” Richie says a little too loudly, unsure as to why Eddie has just walked in on him showering.

“The temperature is fine mommy,” Eddie yells over Richie’s voice and the running water. “You can go now.” Eddie impatiently adds.

“Don’t be in there too long,” Sonia warns, unaware that the _boy_ her son likes is with him on the other side of the door. “You know how dry your skin gets when you stay in the shower too long.”

“Yes, mommy.” Eddie says obediently, he hears Richie stifle in a laugh, so he looks over to him, mouthing. “Shut the fuck up.”

After a few seconds, the sound of Sonia’s plump footsteps descend back down the stairs, so Richie speaks again.

“Can you leave now..?” Richie trails off, shampoo suds run down the side of his face as he blankly looks at Eddie, waiting for him to get out.

“I’m the one supposed to be in the shower you stupid idiot!” Eddie stresses.

Richie looks at him dumbfound, he finds it amusing how hot headed Eddie can become, and it’s usually all down to his mother’s actions.

“Well… don’t watch me shower.” Richie says insecure, it dawns on him that only the shower curtain is keeping Eddie from seeing him unclothed.

“Maybe if you shut up talking to me then I won’t have to look up at your face every 5 seconds.” Eddie makes clear, shifting his gaze back down to the plain white socks he wears on his feet.

“Fuck… that told me.” Richie says, tugging at the shower curtain and closing the small opening so he can no longer see Eddie.

Eddie heavily sighs, looking up from his feet and over to the vanity unit; near the sink he sees Richie’s clothes folded, on top of them rests Richie’s glasses, and Eddie notices one more thing near his belongings, something that looks like it permanently lives in Richie’s denim jacket pocket.

And it’s the photostrip of Bill, Richie and Eddie at the arcade.


	10. Chapter 10

Richie sits on Eddie’s swivel chair by the desk, looking out of the window at the droplets that bead upon the glass pane.

Eddie walks into his bedroom and catches Richie staring at the stillness of the night, and when Richie notices Eddie’s reflection through the window, he spins around to face the moonstone boy.

“So the t shirt fits you then?” Eddie says with a smile as he towel dries his freshly washed hair, the foam green towel he uses has a cute duck embroidered onto the soft material.

Richie looks down at the yellow t shirt in question. “My head almost got stuck while you were gone,” Richie continues. “But I managed to fit into it.”

“That’s because you have a fat head.” Eddie chuckles, leaning over Richie to draw the curtains shut.

Richie ducks his head slightly when Eddie reaches over. “You won’t know what a fat head is until you’ve seen my di-“

“Beep beep, Richie.” Eddie interrupts.

And Richie doesn’t finish his sentence, because that phrase can only mean he’s crossed the line, and he knows Eddie means no harm, but it reminds him of his parents; they hate is snarky remarks and impressions.

Maybe that’s why they kicked him out…

Richie snaps his gaze away from Eddie, then he stands up from the chair to go lay down on his makeshift bed on the floor by Eddie’s bed.

Eddie notices Richie’s swift change in mood, and it reminds him of how Richie was when he first met him, _distant._

Richie rests on his back, looking up at the glow in the dark stars stuck on Eddie’s ceiling. Eddie turns off the lamp on his desk, and the stars above glow brighter and illuminate the safe confinement of Eddie’s bedroom.

“I like stars,” Eddie says out loud. “I think they’re soothing.”

Richie listens to Eddie’s gentle voice float through the dimly lit room as the small boy walks over to his bed, making sure not to step on Richie.

The two boys look up at the ceiling together, and Richie silently hopes that the stars will align for them.

“I called Bill and told him you’re with me,” Eddie mentions, his voice no higher than a whisper.

Richie says nothing, continuing to stargaze.

“He worries about you, you know.”

“He shouldn’t.” Richie admits. “Fucking Bill and that big heart of his…”

Bill is Richie’s only constant, and he could never be forgotten, not by Bill.

Richie feels every ounce of self hatred weight heavy on his heart, he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong in life to end up where he is now, and he feels as though he’s only disrupted their lives, he’s not worth worrying about, not at all.

“I’m sorry,” Richie says unexpectedly. “I’m so fucking sorry for dragging you both through my shit.”

Eddie rolls over onto his side, looking over to Richie who doesn’t take his eyes off of the stars above, he can’t bring himself to look at Eddie because he knows the walls he’s spent years building will fall down completely.

“You don’t have a thing to apologise for, Rich.” Eddie tells him. “Just because people treat you like shit doesn’t mean you deserve it.”

And then Richie finally looks over to the boy whose smile outshines all the stars.

Eddie reaches over to hold Richie’s hand, and when Richie looks down at their tangled fingers his heart aches because he already fears Eddie will let go before he’s had chance to squeeze his velvet fingertips.

“The rumours,” Richie says after some silence, his voice low and tired. “They’re not true.”

Eddie doesn’t interject, he listens to Richie, this is the first time Richie has been so open, and Eddie knows it won’t last forever.

“I suppose my parents don’t give a fuck about how I’m doing, that's true,” Richie continues. “This isn’t the first time they’ve kicked me out.”

Richie exhales. “I’ve been on the streets before," he pauses. "But I’ve never done sexual favours with men for money- I know that’s what people say, but they’re wrong.”

Richie hangs his head low and a wisp of dark hair falls between his eyes, so Eddie delicately brushes the strand away from his face as he continues to soak in every word the hurt boy is willing to share, and Richie doesn’t shy away from his touch, in fact, he welcomes it.

“It’s okay,” Eddie soothes. “You don’t have to explain yourself, not if you don’t want to.”

Deep down Richie’s relieved Eddie doesn’t push him any further, so now he doesn’t have to find an excuse to stop talking.

Because once Richie starts talking, he can never stop.

And as the two are holding hands, holding conversations, and holding each other in their hearts. Richie realises Eddie’s right, the stars are soothing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR 100 KUDOS?! SO HAPPY AND GRATEFUL <3

The image of Richie Tozier sleeping soundly in Eddie Kaspbrak’s bedroom can be something so personal, so peaceful.

Eddie leans over the edge of his mattress, and steals a glance at the sleeping boy as the pale yellow sun gently peaks through the curtains.

Eddie doesn’t want Richie to catch him blatantly admiring his features like a renaissance painting, but still he doesn’t look away, not until it’s too late.

Eddie quickly averts his gaze, pretending he hasn’t been watching Richie for the past few minutes. Richie sits up, the blankets pool around his waist as he examines Eddie long enough for a heated sunset to spread across the apples of his cheeks.

“You weren’t watching me sleep, were you Eds?” Richie asks playfully. “That seems a little _gay_ to me.”

Eddie almost jokes on his own saliva, he’s _not_ gay. He doesn’t have to be queer to find a boy attractive, does he?

“What? No!” Eddie protests. “Don’t be stupid.”

Eddie hastily gets out of his bed, stepping over Richie to draw the curtains open, the soft sun rays hitting their faces.

Richie watches how Eddie’s shoulders tense and his eyebrows furrow, and he knows he’s hit a nerve somewhere within the small boy because now his brown eyes resemble a sad puppy.

Richie stands up, and Eddie turns around to face him. They both stand in silence, and Richie doesn’t know if to crack a joke or something to cut the tension, but he figures his loudmouth will only make things worse.

“I’m _not_ gay,” Eddie admits, though Richie never asked. “I know Greta and everyone says I am, but I’m not.”

Richie adjusts his glasses, looking over at Eddie who drifts his gaze out the window, fixating his hot cocoa eyes on yesterday’s rain.

“Who gives a shit if you’re gay?” Richie says before backtracking. “Sorry, I mean _not_ gay.”

Eddie cautiously looks back over to Richie. “Are you? I mean- do you think boys are attractive?”

“Uh…” Richie stammers. “I think Bill is handsome but I’m not attracted to him, not romantically.” Richie confesses, avoiding properly answering Eddie’s question.

Because the truth is, _he does_ find boys attractive. And there’s _one_ boy in particular whose smile can warm the sun and his glacé soul is so sickeningly pure it makes Richie’s heart swell with sweet honey water.

And that _boy_ is Eddie Kaspbrak.

Before the two boys can talk about their sexuality any further, Eddie hears a voice call from up the stairs, and it doesn’t belong to his mother.

“E-Eddie?”

Eddie immediately recognises that stutter, so he walks over to his door and opens it to see Bill down the hall.

Bill stands in between Eddie’s doorframe, looking at Eddie. “Your m-mom wanted me to tell yuh-you she’s gone to work.” Bill informs him.

Eddie’s chest doesn’t feel as tight anymore knowing his mom has gone, because now he doesn’t have to worry about hiding Richie, or getting Richie out of the house safely, Eddie was thinking about having him climb out of the window, and he's sure Richie would have refused the idea.

“R-Richie…” Bill looks over to Richie, relieved he’s safe and well.

Richie’s stomach drops, and not in a fun way like a ride on a rollercoaster, it’s a deep feeling of guilt and the only way he knows how to cope with it is to use humour.

“I got a bit caught up fucking Eddie’s mom last night, so I spent the night here.”

Bill shakes his head, letting out a light chuckle, but then he pulls him in for a hug. Richie doesn’t know what to do with his arms other than to wrap them tightly around Bill, holding him close to his chest.

“I thought s-something _bad_ happened to you.” Bill breathes out.

Bill’s parents had told Bill about Richie’s past, how he slept on the streets for awhile. Richie knew his past would start to unravel sooner or later, it was only necessary for him to continue to live with the Denbrough’s.

After hearing of Richie’s personal challenges, Bill doesn’t want to lose him. He doesn’t want to lose another _brother_.

“No, Bill,” Richie hugs Bill tighter. “Just doing what I’m best at. Running away.”

Running away is something Richie has always known, he just wants to escape his problems, his mistakes, hoping they go away. Bill _saved_ him, he helped him when he needed it most, and he’s always been there for him, even when Richie believes he doesn’t deserve it.

“You don’t need t-to run away, Richie.” Bill comforts. “Not a-anymore.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Thanks fuh-for calling about R-Richie the other night,” Bill says to Eddie as they walk to Bill’s house with their bikes alongside them. “I don’t know w-what wuh-would hh-have-“ Bill stops himself from finishing his sentence, his stutter worsening with every word.

Bill doesn’t want to think about what could have happened to Richie if it weren’t for Eddie. He could have ended up on the streets again, and maybe he wouldn’t have been so fortunate this time round, not with all the kids going missing recently…

“I couldn’t just leave him in the rain,” Eddie admits. “That would be a shitty thing to do.”

“Do you like R-Richie?” Bill questions, watching as the smaller boy almost loses his grip on his bike handles, but he manages to grasp them again before his bike can fall to the ground.

“Yes?” Eddie replies with uncertainty, unsure if Bill is implying if he likes Richie romantically, or just platonically.

“No, I mm-mean-“ Bill stammers, trying to think of the right phrase, but he doesn’t know how to say it. “Do you _like_ him, E-Eds?”

Bill just repeats the same sentence and put more emphasis on the word ‘like’, but Eddie knows full well what he means.

Eddie thinks back to his early morning conversation with Richie as the birds sang outside his window, and he remembers Richie’s words; _‘who gives a shit if you’re gay? … sorry, I mean not gay.”_

A few uncomfortable minutes pass before Eddie decides to speak up.

“Would you care?” Eddie squints up at Bill as the mellow orange sun shines through the clouds. “If I was gay, and I liked Richie _more_ than a friend…”

“Not on a substantial l-level.” Bill continues. “If- If you do like boys, then that’s okay.” Bill admits. “I s-still love you, I always w-will.”

Bill’s lifelong love for Eddie has always been platonic, because there are different kinds of love.

Bill has shaped Eddie’s life in ways he’ll always remember; he will never forget Bill’s exaggerated hand gestures when he tells stories, or the way his whole body laughs uncontrollably at the most ridiculous things, his smile that makes Eddie feel like everything is going to be okay in the end, and how his warm hugs remind Eddie that he’s loved.

“If anyone makes you feel bad for b-being who you are, then they’re a-assholes.” Bill’s voice fades out down the quiet street. “Richie ss-says you’re a cutie just the way yu-you are.”

Bill falls silent after realising what he’s just confessed. Eddie wasn’t supposed to know that.

For a boy with a stutter, he sure doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.

“Wait,” Eddie raises his eyebrow. “Richie really said that?”

“Said w-what?” Bill stutters, pretending not to know what Eddie’s talking about, but he groans when they reach his house, unable to keep up the act. “Don’t tell Rich I told y-you.”

Eddie props his bike up against Bill’s front porch, and before he can promise Bill that his secret is safe, he sees Richie peek out of the dining room blinds, then make his way over to the front door.

Richie’s wearing a button up cactus shirt and cuffed jeans, he also has a new pair of converse on his feet, he looks smart. The Denbrough’s must have bought him a whole new wardrobe.

“Eddie…” Richie says surprised, not expecting to see him by Bill’s side. “What are you doing here?”

Bill and his parents are going out of town for the evening, they could have left Richie to his own devices, but Bill thinks it’s not a good idea for Richie to be alone, because Richie doesn’t seem to cope well on his own, despite practically raising himself and having no friends for a long period in his life.

The cogs in Richie’s brain turn and it eventually clicks why Bill has asked Eddie to come over.

Eddie isn’t here for _him_ , he’s here because Bill _told him_ to.

“Seriously, Bill?” Richie says dryly. “I don’t need a fucking babysitter,” he looks over at Eddie, who stands awkwardly next to Bill. “I’m used to being on my own.” Richie adds.

“Rich...” Bill sighs helplessly, watching Richie retreat back into the house.

Richie briskly heads down into the basement, feeling pissed off that Bill thinks he’s so fucked up that he needs to be watched 24/7.

The basement is not as empty as it used to be, Bill’s parents have made adjustments for Richie so he has his own space; Richie’s added a few band posters to the wall next to his bed, and there’s even a fridge underneath the stairs.

Richie slumps onto the couch, and he tilts his head back over the armchair in frustration, then he hears light footsteps come down the stairs, along with the sound of a fannpack unzipping.

“Bill and his parents had to go,” Eddie tells Richie as he pulls out his inhaler. “Bill’s pretty upset…”

“Yeah?” Richie interrupts. “Well the feeling’s mutual.”

Richie’s body language is sad, Eddie can already see that for himself. If only Richie knew the real reason why Bill and his parents were going out of town…

“I don’t give a fuck anyways,” Richie lies, his defensive exterior hardens once again. “Whatchoo say we do waitin’ for Big Bill?” He changes the subject in his southern gentleman voice.

Eddie walks over to the long limbed boy flopped onto the couch, showing him the contents in his backpack. “We’re behind on our project, cowboy.” Eddie mocks Richie’s bad impression as he pulls out some math textbooks.

“Relax,” Richie says sitting up. “We’re not even that far behind...”

“You fell asleep last week, remember?” Eddie shakes his head as he sits down on the floor by the coffee table. “We’re finishing this project.”

“Can’t we play Twister instead or something?” Richie procrastinates.

“No way,” Eddie shakes his head. “Not after last time when you kicked Bill in the nuts.” Eddie holds out a pencil for Richie to take, feeling defeated, Richie heavily sighs before taking the pencil and sitting on the floor beside Eddie.

At first, Richie has to force himself to try and focus on the numbers printed on the textbook the pair share. He glances over to the pretty boy by his side every so often. Eddie doesn’t struggle as much with equations since Richie became his partner, so Richie thinks he can’t be completely useless.

After awhile of working in silence, other than the odd passing comment and a lot of jokes spill from Richie’s mouth, distracting Eddie in the process, Eddie decides to tell Richie something he needs to hear.

“Rich…” Eddie says looking up from his textbook, sounding as though he has something on his mind. “I have something to say.”

Richie perks up when Eddie says his name, or an abbreviation of it. Eddie pronounces his unholy name with such care that it makes his heart beat quickly.

“What’s that?” Richie responds softly.

Eddie adoringly looks up at Richie, his brown eyes flicker down to Richie’s pink carnation lips, then back to the pair of owl eyes that make his heart swell like a new moon.

“I’m not here just because Bill wants me to be,” he admits. “I love spending time with _you_.”

“I like- _love_ spending time with you too, Eds.”

Before Richie can completely process his actions, he begins to slowly lean in, he lifts Eddie’s chin up and he can feel the small boys shuddering breath on his left cheek as Eddie tilts his head. Their lips brush, just the smallest amount, and Eddie inhales before letting his eyes fall shut.

“I’m b-back!”

Eddie jumps away the minute he hears the stuttering Bill’s voice travel down the basement.

Bill comes down the last few steps, and he sees Eddie sat on the floor, he kicks his legs away from Richie as he backs up in the corner. And Richie, he nervously adjusts his glasses before covering up the noticeable tension with a cough.

“W-What?-“

Richie hastily stands up, coming up with some excuse as to why the two of them look so scared, guilty even.

“Eddie saw a giant ass spider,” Richie utters, looking down to the coffee table. “Fuck! There it is!” Richie exclaims, pointing at nothing, because there is no spider.

Bill watches in silence as Richie grabs his textbook and slams it repeatedly onto the coffee table.

“Richie Tozier saves the d-day, w-who woulda thought?” Bill says as his dimples make an appearance. He walks further into the room, taking off his jacket and setting it on the couch.

The pair don’t know if Bill genuinely believes Richie’s terrible cover up, or if he’s just going along with it for the sake of preventing discomfort for his two best friends.

Eddie stands up, pretending to look at his watch. “My mom’s gonna kill me if I’m not home before dinner.”

He doesn’t utter another word, instead, he grabs his backpack before quickly slinging it over one shoulder and heading up the basement stairs.

Richie watches him rush off, and he thinks he should go and say something before Eddie hurries off on his bike.

“I’ll go see what’s up with him…” Richie tells Bill awkwardly before he clumsily follows Eddie up the stairs.

Richie catches Eddie kick the stand from his bike as he guides the handle bars away from Bill’s porch.

“Wait up!” Richie descends down the front porch and over to the flustered boy.

Eddie snaps his head in the opposite direction, and regardless of how bothered and hurt Richie feels, he still approaches the small boy before gently pulling back his elbow to prevent him going any further.

“Let me take you to the movies on Saturday,” Richie says on the spot. “Yeah, at the Aladdin Theater.” Richie mentally curses to himself at how desperate he sounds.

Eddie looks over to the taller boy, his magnified eyes gleam with hope, like a dewy spring flower.

“It doesn’t have to be serious or anything-“ Richie sidetracks, so if Eddie does reject him, it will lessen the blow.

But Eddie doesn’t reject him.

“Yeah,” Eddie reassures with a nod, a smile tugs at his lips and his eyes behold beauty whenever he looks at Richie.

He’s beautiful, inside and out, and Eddie doesn’t understand how Richie could have such the reputation he does.

“I’ll go on a _date_ with you Richie Tozier.”


	13. Chapter 13

“You’re a dumbass for spending 7 dollars on popcorn.” Richie says as he pushes the door open to screen number 7.

He holds the door for Eddie, who has a bucket of popcorn larger than his head in his arms, the buttery snack blocks the small boys view so Richie keeps a close eye on him, making sure he doesn’t trip while they find their seats.

“I’m not eating warm Twizzlers that you’ve smuggled down your pants.” Eddie bites back, but it’s not in a malicious way.

The two boys walk down the aisle and up the carpeted steps, the noisy previews play and drown out the sound of the low whispers from the few people they squeeze past to get to their correct seat number.

The pair sit down just as the movie starts, the horror movie they decided to see is supposed to be terrifying according to critics, but Richie can already tell the movie isn’t going to be scary from the opening titles.

Richie finds himself glancing over to Eddie, his attention span drifting away from the movie after 20 minutes. The large screen lights up Eddie’s side profile in the dark theater and he notices every freckle that spring up like stars across his button nose and cheeks.

Richie starts to fidget in his seat, his long legs are cramped in the narrow row, unlike Eddie who has lots of leg room. So to feel less confined, Richie stretches his arm over Eddie’s chair, the sleeve of Richie’s new acid wash jacket brushes against the nape of Eddie’s neck.

Half way through the movie, a high-pitched scream emanates from the speakers, making Eddie jump, it startles him so much that some of the popcorn spills onto his lap, and he’s pretty sure he’s elbowed Richie in the ribs when he reaches over to hold Richie’s free hand that rests on his knee.

Richie looks down at Eddie’s small trembling hand holding his, so he wraps his outstretched arm around the easily scared boy, tugging him closer to his body. Richie’s thumb glazes over the back of Eddie’s soft hand, and then he brushes his lips over Eddie’s temple before planting a short kiss.

The sudden affection catches Eddie by surprise, Richie doesn’t like people being touchy with him, but now he’s comfortable enough to touch Eddie in a way that sends shivers down his spine. Eddie’s nerves settle under his embrace, and now the only thing that scares him is the possibility he will never get to feel Richie’s plump lips on his skin again.

When the credits roll and people start filing out of their seats, Richie stands up and leads the way out of the theater. The white lights in the foyer hit them as soon as they exit, and Richie almost forgets where he is for a moment after spending 2 hours in a dark movie theater secluded from the outside world.

“If I ever got to live in a fictional world I wouldn’t want to live in that one.” Eddie shudders, throwing the popcorn bucket in a nearby trash can they pass.

“If the clown only shows up once every 27 years… then it wouldn’t be so bad.” Richie goes off on a tangent as they head outside.

The two match a steady pace as they walk along the secluded streets. Eddie looks up at the sky, and it looks so tragically beautiful; fringes of scattered clouds peak in front of the setting sun, so warm and golden.

But no sunset can be so beautiful when Richie looks at Eddie. He notices how Eddie’s tanned flesh seems to glow in the daylight, sunbeams decorate his cheeks with gold fleck freckles and give his lips a honey shine. He looks heavenly, almost angel-like in the evening sun.

Richie’s fingers twitch as they desperately want to reach out and entwine the small boys hand with his own, but he reluctantly holds back, instead he splutters out his Irish cop impression. “So… you be gettin’ on home nowh laddie?!”

“What the hell was that?” Eddie asks, scrunching his nose up at Richie’s God awful impression.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Richie says, as if his impression is so obvious, their arms brush against one another as they walk passed Derry Public Library on Up Mile Hill. “Irish cop of course.”

“You gotta work on that one,” Eddie says honestly, looking over to Richie. “Your English butler impression is better.”

“Okay,” Richie nods, taking the constructive criticism as they slow down when they turn on Eddie’s street. “I’ll take that.”

“Ah shit,” Eddie stops walking when he notices his mom’s car parked in the driveway. “I didn’t know she’d be home, she normally goes to the pharmacy at this time.”

The two stare at the blue car in the distance, and it signifies that their night ends here.

“It’s okay,” Richie brushes off. “We can hang out another day when your mom’s not home.” Richie stops in his tracks next to Eddie.

“Looks like I’ll have to give you your goodnight kiss here.”

Eddie looks both ways, making sure nobody is watching their secret love; he pulls Richie down by the front of his shirt and stands up on his tiptoes, his thumb brushes the hue of Richie’s prominent cheekbone as he looks up at him with rose buds caught between his eyelashes.

Richie can see the way Eddie loves, he can feel it by how the small boy delicately caresses his face.

Eddie presses his warm lips against Richie’s, the kiss is slow and sensual. _Uninterrupted._ Richie slides his tongue softly against Eddie’s bottom lip, the open mouthed kiss leaves Eddie completely breathless.

Eddie is the first to pull away, and their first proper kiss leaves Richie with lingering affection all over his body. “Thank you for tonight.” Eddie says, dropping back down to his feet.

In a lovesick daze, Richie wants nothing more than to pull the pretty boy back in for another kiss. But it’s called a _goodnight kiss_ for a reason.

So all that is left is for Richie is to thank Eddie, not just for giving him the best night of his life, but for _everything._ For making him feel loved each and every day.

“Thank you for showing me what it feels like to be _loved_ , Eds.”


	14. Chapter 14

Bill watches Richie from across the lunch table as his brows delicately knit together and he prods at his untouched food. Richie still sees everything in rose tinted glasses after last night, the noisy cafeteria has faded into a dull buzz, and the distant chattering becomes one fuzzy mess.

“Are y-you okay, Rich?”

“Huh?” Richie snaps his gaze up from his tray, looking as though he has just woken up from a long, dream filled sleep.

“Are you oh-okay?” Bill repeats. He has a pretty clear idea of why Richie is acting the way he is, he came home last night with a lovelorn grin painted on his face.

There’s only _one_ boy who could have that affect on Richie, and it’s his best friend.

“I’m fine, more than fine actually.” Richie casually confesses.

“Are you and Eddie like... _boyfriends_?” Bill asks, a smirk slowly forms on his face when he sees Richie’s reaction to his forward question.

Richie’s wide eyes dart around, he leans in close over the table, and in a low whisper he says. “Say it a bit louder, I don’t think everyone heard you.”

Bill chuckles, his bright eyes follow Richie’s movements, he has his leg hiked up on the bench, pulling up his pineapple sock before rolling the cuff of his jeans back down. Bill thinks back to a few months ago when he first met Richie, before he became such an important part of his life; he used to be so hard to read, a closed book. But now Bill picks up on the quiver in his voice when he delivers a joke, and how his smooth laugh puts the whole room at ease, no matter how scarily it surfaces.

“I like him.” Richie confesses quickly, just so it’s out in the open. He wouldn’t admit that to anybody else but Big Bill.

“Why, I said it, didn’t I guv'nor? Don’t be tellin’ every Tom, Dick n’ Harry, bit of a-“

Bill stops Richie from blurting out anymore words in his English butler voice. “I k-know.”

“How?” Richie questions. “Is it my socks? Are they too flamboyant? Too gay?”

Bill shakes his head. “E-Eddie told me everything.”

“ _Everything_?” Richie insecurely asks. His stomach knots with nerves and he’s not sure why, maybe because there’s now someone else who knows his secret, he’s liked Eddie all along, and the knot begins to untie when Bill speaks the truth.

Bill nods, smiling fondly. “He likes you _a lot_ , he always h-has,” Bill continues. “He h-hated the rumours, he never once believed them t-though.”

Richie’s heart grows bigger than his eyes, he’s happy and sad at the same time, and maybe that’s what love is supposed to feel like, it’s a bittersweet feeling.

Bill looks around the cafeteria for the small boy in question. “Wuh-Where’s Eddie anyways?”

Richie’s stomach drops like an anchor, Eddie should be here by now, his class is only down the hall from the cafeteria… but he tries not to jump to conclusions, maybe Eddie got held up in the science labs, that’s a more logical assumption. _Right?_

Richie and Bill throw out the remaining contents from their trays into the trash as they head out into the halls. Bill walks over to his locker and Richie leans back on the clattering metal, looking into the sea of students to see if he can catch sight of Eddie.

Bill clumsily loads books into his bag, he drops one, so Richie picks it up for him. It’s only then as he’s handing the book back to Bill he spots Eddie and his whole body stiffens.

“Holy fuck,” Richie mutters.

In big red letters spray painted on Eddie’s locker read a singular word that make’s Richie feel psychically sick.

FAGGOT

Richie doesn’t hesitate to make his way over to Eddie, and when Eddie sees him approach, he wipes away the tears dripping down his face with the back of his hand as if nothing happened. But where Eddie is concerned, nothing goes unnoticed to Richie.

Richie flings his arms around Eddie, pulling him into his chest. Eddie is stiff at first, but after a few seconds he breaks down, his small frame vibrates with sobs as he stands in the taller boys arms, his tears fall down like a river stream and soak Richie’s jacket. Richie lowers his chin onto Eddie’s soft hair, and the familiar smell of a strawberry fields fills his senses.

Eddie is the first to pull back, wiping his cheeks with his sleeves. Richie notices lingering students whispering, gossiping, so he shoots them harsh glares before turning his attention back to Eddie.

Richie dips his head as his eyes flicker over Eddie’s face. “Who did this?” He demands.

“I don’t know.” Eddie looks down, averting his gaze away from Richie. Richie’s unconvinced, he can tell he’s lying.

“Was it that fucker who gave you shit in the locker rooms?” Richie asks, trying to get the answer out of Eddie.

Eddie looks back over to his locker, and Richie can see his bottom lip quiver as he holds back more tears.

“It was him, wasn’t it?” Richie urges gently. “Henry Bowers.”

Eddie looks up at Richie, and his blurry eyes blink away a few tears, and that’s a clear enough answer in itself.

Richie sighs, looking into the crowd once more. Then in the distance he spots the only person capable of being so cruel.

“Fuck you!” Richie shouts, his voice echoes through the halls, reaching Henry’s ears.

“Shut up Richie!” Eddie loudly whispers, tugging at Richie’s arm to stop him from making a scene, although they’re already the centre of attention. “Do you want to get yourself killed?!” He sniffles.

Richie’s unexpected interference shocks everyone around them, he’s never cared about someone enough to stand up to Bowers, and this time, he doesn’t hold back.

“You piece of fucking shit!” Richie yells louder, watching as Henry tilts his head and slowly walks over with a coy smile.

“Richie fucking Tozier?” Henry laughs, his gang follow close behind. “Look boys, he’s gone crazy.” Henry mocks, twirling a finger up to his head as he admires the graffiti he put on Eddie’s locker, then he looks down at the small boy standing behind Richie.

Richie shields him from Henry’s view, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing Eddie in such a sullen state.

“You’re a joke,” Henry looks Richie up and down in disgust. “We all preferred it when you kept your mouth shut.” He says, his gang laugh at every insult he fires at Richie.

“You’re not fooling anyone, fag.” Henry spits, advancing on Richie. “It’s only a matter of time before this girly boy gets tired of you,” Henry motions to Eddie. “And where’s B-B-Bill? Huh?”

Henry gets right up in Richie’s face, harshly poking his chest. “He doesn’t trust a dirty, homeless piece of shit like you.”

“You fucking asshole!” Eddie musters up the courage to defend Richie. “He’s worth more than you’ll ever be.”

Eddie’s feeling of sadness is strongly outweighed with anger, no one deserves to get spoken down to like that, _especially_ Richie.

“Eddie, it’s okay.” Richie assures, not wanting him to get involved. He’s the reason Henry and his gang are stood in front of them, he caused this all because he can’t keep his loudmouth shut, and he doesn’t want Eddie to get hurt because of him. It’s all _his_ fault.

“No!” Eddie shrugs Richie’s hand off of his shoulder, his rage all aimed at Henry. “Richie has a future, unlike you.”

“You’re the one who has nobody, your ape shit friends only spend time with you because they’re scared of you, that’s not friendship,” Eddie scrunches his face up. “It’s fucking _sad_.”

Eddie never knew he had it in him, he didn’t think he was capable of defending himself, and to some extent that’s true, but he sure as hell can defend Richie.

Before either of the two can get their faces caved in by Henry and his overpowering friends, the undisputed leader of the trio steps in.

Bill pushes himself to the front of the circle of onlookers. “S-Show’s over.” He grabs Eddie’s arm, and he jerks Richie back by his wrist, pulling them both into an empty classroom.

The heavy door shuts after them, and Bill is sure Henry won’t get his own back, not right this second, but _he will_ , he’s _always_ after them. He’s menacing, he’ll hurt them when they’re at their most vulnerable, alone, when they don’t have each other.

Richie and Eddie seem surprised at Bill’s intervention, but of course the wingless angel wasn’t too far away, he saw everything.

“What the h-hell?!” Bill snaps, annoyance breaking through. “What w-were you thinking trying to fuh-fight Bowers?!” He says, his words aimed more at Richie than Eddie.

Richie huffs, sitting on one of the desks as he runs a hand through his messy hair. Henry’s words run around his head, maybe Bill doesn’t trust him, that’s why he’s singling him out, and not Eddie.

“Maybe I get turned on when people treat me like shit,” Richie sarcastically says, his tone holds just as much annoyance as Bill’s. “Ever thought of that, Bill?”

Bill shakes his head in disbelief, holding back his tongue. He’s acting on emotion only because he cares about Richie, _so much._

Eddie looks back and forth to the two people he loves most. "Guys,” Eddie interjects calmly, but Richie speaks over him.

“Fuck, Bill,” Richie says in frustration. He wants to be angry, he really does, but he can’t when Bill means so well. “Can’t you see that sometimes you being so fucking nice hurts people, including yourself?!”

“ _Why_ did you do it?” Richie continues. “Why did you take me in, Bill?! Your parents should have just fucking left me.”

“Shut up!” Bill says without stuttering. The sudden outburst shocks both Richie and Eddie since Bill rarely ever gets angry. “Do you t-think we all think so low of y-you?!”

“If my own parents don’t give a fuck about me, then why should you?!” Richie exclaims. “I’m bad for you.”

The old desk creaks under Richie’s weight when he stands up. He looks over to Eddie, who stands a few feet away from Bill; watching Richie become so worked up leaves him in a panic, Eddie’s hands cover his mouth as he looks up at Richie in shock.

“Shit, Eddie,” Richie sighs. “I didn’t mean to-“

Eddie’s hands drop to his side. “Unlike your parents we love you Richie!” Eddie interjects. “God, why can’t you see?!”

Richie flinches at Eddie’s words, casting his gaze to the floor. There’s a part of him that _wants_ to believe his parents love him, they must have loved him to put up with his sulking and his terrible jokes for so long.

“You've got this twisted idea that you're responsible for other's mistakes, that somehow you're the one to blame.” Eddie continues. “Let people _help_ you.”

But instead of accepting help from the people who truly care about him, who love him, all Richie wants to do is go to his parent’s house and find out what he did wrong.

Richie heads over to the door, seeing this, Bill grips him by the wrist, stopping him from leaving. “Rich, p-please,” 

“Let me go, Bill,” Richie breathes out. “ _Please_.”

Bill’s pleading blue eyes beg him to stay, he doesn’t want to let go. But he knows Richie needs closure, he can’t keep him from that, even if it will end in rejection.

Bill lets his grip slip from Richie’s wrist, then, he and Eddie watch the dark haired boy leave without saying a joke, a one liner, not even an impression.

And they let him go.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter starts angsty, just so you know.

Richie stands in front of the house he once called home, but it doesn’t feel like a home anymore, far from it.

He walks up to the front door before knocking twice, he takes a few steps back, waiting on his parents to open the door.

The door eventually swings open, and he is met face to face with his mother, Maggie Tozier. In Richie’s heart he wants to believe she has missed him after all these months, but by her disapproving look he knows him turning up unexpectedly is anything but a pleasant surprise.

“Hi,” Richie greets, stepping into the house hesitantly when his mother opens the door wider for him to enter.

He looks around the dining room and everything is still the same, nothing has changed. The only thing he notices that wasn’t there before is the new photo of his mother and father hung up on the wall.

Once the door slams shut, his father who sits on the armchair looks up from his paper, and over to his son for a mere 2 seconds. “Why did you let him in, Maggie?” Went asks with a heavy sigh, not even regarding the fact Richie can hear him.

“Nice to see you too, dad.” Richie responds, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Richie almost curses under his breath, but he holds it back, knowing that it will only earn him a slap on the back of his head.

Richie’s father looks back down to his paper, so Richie turns his attention towards his mother and cuts straight to the point. “Why did you kick me out? I know I’m not the best son, and I fool around too much,” Richie bites the inside of his cheek, trying his hardest to stop himself from sobbing away the dull ache in his heart. “What did I do wrong _mom_?” His voice croaks helplessly.

“You’re hard to understand Richie,” his mother admits honestly, she always wanted a girl, not a boy. “I don’t know what to do with you.” She brings a gentle hand up to her sons face, caressing his soft cheek for a moment.

Richie spent his whole life trying to please his mother and father; he sacrificed everything, including his own happiness at times, to try and get good grades, achieve the goal of making his parents proud.

Now Richie realises, all of that means nothing, no matter what he does, or did, it will _never_ be enough.

But for a brief second, Richie feels genuine affection from his mother that he hasn’t felt probably since he was 7, it makes the ache in his heart more unbearable, it’s almost an excruciating pain because he knows this is a goodbye of sorts.

His father lifts his gaze up from his paper, finally acknowledging Richie. “Quit your grovelling, boy.” He says harshly, standing to his feet.

Maggie’s hand slips from Richie’s face when she sees her husband stand up. Richie sharply inhales, unable to hold back his anger, frustration and hurt any longer.

“I’m living with the Denbrough’s now if you give a shit.” Richie snaps. “They’re better parents then you ever were, and they _love_ me like- like I’m their own.”

“We know the Denbrough’s are looking after you,” his father says. “They blew up the home phone trying to get hold of us, to tell us how you’re doing, but the thing is Richie-“ his father walks closer, and Richie’s body stiffens. “We don’t care.”

Richie’s body trembles with anger. “Nothing says you love me like leaving me out on the streets.”

Richie was taught by his parents that his life didn’t matter, it’s apparent from how he was always cast to the side, ignored. When he had no place to go, Richie was sure he’d go missing because nobody cared enough to look for him, but then Bill found him, and saved him from his worst fear.

He felt more _alone_ in this house, than he ever did on the streets.

A spark of fear runs up Richie’s spine when his father eyes him critically, then, his father slaps him.

The open-handed smack leaves a red welt behind on Richie’s cheek, the same cheek that his mother so softly caressed minutes earlier. Richie staggers backwards, clutching his face, and below his right eye he can feel a small cut where his father’s wedding ring had caught him.

His mother only watches in silence. She feels nothing, and if she does, she doesn’t show it, she doesn’t step in when her husband puts his hands on her own flesh and blood.

Richie winces, looking up at his dad with so much pain, so much betrayal. He refuses to fight back, despite every voice in his head and every nerve in his body screaming at him to do so.

His father grabs a fist full of Richie’s denim jacket, dragging him towards the door. He’s getting kicked out once again, but this time it’s different, Richie _never_ wanted to come back, he just wanted to know what he did wrong, and he found his answer.

It was _never_ about him at all.

His father pushes him out the door, it’s so forceful that Richie loses his balance and collides with the sidewalk, he looks up at his father one last time before the door slams shut in his face.

His stomach twists at how weak, how helpless he has become. He just let himself fall, when did he become so compliant? So defeated?

He stays on the floor for a minute before standing to his feet, his brain doesn’t even register the fresh grazes on his hands and the scrapes along the side of his body from when he harshly met the floor.

As Richie aimlessly walks along the dark streets, he can’t shake the feeling of worthlessness that his parents always manage to impose upon him. He longs for the familiar feeling of safety and warmth that he associates with Eddie’s bedroom.

So that’s exactly where he goes, Richie walks the short distance to Eddie’s home, not caring if Eddie’s mother catches him climbing through her sons window at 12am, she couldn’t make this night any worse for him.

Once Richie reaches the Kaspbrak residence, he goes around the back to where Eddie’s window is located. Richie hesitates, wondering if this is a good idea or not, but usually none of Richie’s ideas are good, so he continues to haul himself up to Eddie’s window sill, pushing open the window with the little strength he has.

Richie puts one leg through, and then before he can swing the other leg over, he hears a gasp come from Eddie’s bedroom.

In the gleaming moonshine, Eddie can only just see the orange pineapple socks that the intruder wears as they enter feet first in his bedroom, only Richie Tozier could wear socks so hideous.

Now knowing this boy is no stranger, Eddie draws his curtains open, then he see’s Richie in his full form; he flashes the small boy a smile, and Eddie wonders why he looks so happy when he can tell the blossoms of his garden are falling.

He watches Richie stumble, so Eddie guides him in the rest of the way. The clumsy boy still manages to knock all the pill bottles off of the desk, despite Eddie’s cautious hands and Richie’s own efforts to enter smoothly.

“What are you doing here?!” Eddie loudly whispers. He quickly shuts his window and draws his curtains, hoping his mom doesn’t hear how loud they’re being.

When Eddie turns his lamp on, it’s only then he sees the new wounds brimming Richie’s skin.

“You’re the only person I want to be with right now,” Richie responds, his heart bores every bruise that isn’t external. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Eddie says. “Look at you.” Eddie frowns, he turns Richie’s chin towards him, inspecting his face of the obvious wounds that decorate his pale face.

Richie usually solves his problems by letting them devour him. He lets himself fall apart, delicately, like autumn leaves falling over a blank sheet of snow. So when Eddie’s concerned eyes scan over his face, his imperfections, all Richie can do is look at the sweet boy with a watery smile, trying his best to not cry right then and there.

Eddie grabs Richie’s hand, dragging him over to the edge of his bed and sitting him down, he’s so gentle, unlike his father who practically dragged him by his neck.

“Let’s fix you up, hey,” Eddie strokes the side of Richie’s head, seeing that Richie started to zone out. Eddie’s delicate touch earns Richie’s attention, so he nods and watches as Eddie situates himself between his legs, already grabbing his first aid kit from under his bed and placing it on the empty bed space next to Richie.

Eddie soaks a cotton ball with peroxide, and then he looks over to the first obvious cut on Richie’s face. The cut is just under his eye, and Richie realises Eddie is waiting on him to take off his glasses, but he’s too shy to ask.

So Richie lifts them from his face, blinking a few times to adjust without them. “I can’t see by the way.” Richie makes know, feeling more vulnerable when he can’t see Eddie clearly.

“You’re in good hands, don’t worry.” Eddie assures, pressing the cotton ball to Richie’s skin.

After he cleans the cut on his face, Richie immediately puts the thick frames back onto his face. He watches Eddie move over to clean the grazes on his hands, and that makes him flinch a lot more than the cut on his face did. 

Once Eddie has patched up Richie’s hands with a bandaid, he hesitantly looks down to Richie’s torso then back up at Richie. “Can I?”

Richie nods, and slowly, he lets Eddie lift up his t shirt. The small boy dabs the cotton ball onto the scrapes, and it only takes a moment, but in that short moment Richie reflects; he always denied help, not wanting to let people in, and now Eddie has seen a side to him that people don’t usually see.

And as Eddie lets Richie’s shirt fall back down, he thinks back to the night in Bill’s basement where Richie hid his pain for so long until finally it became too much, and even then he wouldn’t let Eddie touch him, not like _this._

It’s _only_ with Eddie that Richie feels comfortable enough to let his guard down. It may have been in pieces, but Richie gives up the most beautiful parts of himself to Eddie.

“All done,” Eddie says as he packs away all the first aid supplies. “They won’t get infected now.”

Eddie is met with silence as he pushes the first aid box back under his bed, and then he feels Richie’s lanky arms slowly wrap around his small waist before the heartbreaking sound of his muffled sobs reach his ears.

Eddie glances down at the way Richie holds onto him, seeing him completely fall apart, and he thinks the broken boy has been holding it all in since he entered his bedroom.

Richie cries into Eddie’s waist unceasingly, his trembling hands clutch at his hips. Eddie holds him in silence, smoothing back his hair that floats up in tresses like willow leaves.

It’s like his pain is still an open wound, his whole body racks with sobs as he tries so hard to keep silent.

“Come on Rich,” Eddie soothes. “Let’s lay down.”

Richie does so without hesitation, laying on his side as his back presses against Eddie. The smaller boy wraps his arms around Richie, pulling the bed covers over them.

Richie knows how to weep silently when his bedroom door is shut tight, but now, and only now does he weep in front of the boy he loves so much, Eddie’s body heat gives Richie reassurance, his gentle fingers roam his dark hair and it soothes him until his cries become recovering breaths.

“I went back to my parents.” Richie admits, breaking the silence. “My mom said she doesn’t know what to do with me,” he continues. “They kicked me out because they don’t understand me- but they never tried to, and when they eventually found out the Denbrough’s took me in, they didn’t even want to know how I was doing... that’s how little they care about me.”

Eddie listens carefully, and then he asks Richie something that has been on his mind since day one. “Do you- Do you remember the first night Bill took you in, and we watched Star Wars?”

Richie nods, so Eddie continues his sentence. “The bruises that you didn’t want me to see… did your parents do that?”

“That night- my dad pushed me, _hard_ , and my side hit the corner of the dining table.” Richie confesses, though it’s difficult for him. “They don’t beat me like a punching bag, they’re not _that_ sick.”

Eddie could make out the faint print of a hand mark on Richie’s cheek when he cleaned his cut, deep down he already knows the answer, but he still asks Richie. “What about tonight?” Eddie whispers.

“He hit me, but he’s never done that before,” Richie says in a whisper, still defending his parents who never treated him like their son. “And my mom just let him.” 

“I should have listened to you and Bill,” Richie confesses as the moon peaks through Eddie’s curtains in the dead of night. “ _I’m sorry_.” He inhales sharply.

Richie’s like a broken mixtape stuck on repeat, all he ever says is; I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

“You apologise too much, Rich.” Eddie says. “ _It’s okay_ to cry, and it’s okay to think with your heart instead of your head. It’s normal.”

Eddie feels his eyes become droopy, sleep threatens to overtake his body but he stays awake awhile longer for the boy in his arms.

“Stop apologising for being yourself, and stop apologising for being sad sometimes.” Eddie says. “You’re loved more than you know, Richie.”

Richie thinks Eddie has such a way with words, sometimes when he speaks it sounds like music, and he sings all the right notes, because somehow, he always knows the right thing to say.

“Goodnight, Rich.” Eddie plants a kiss on his head, holding him close to show just how much he is loved.

“Goodnight.” Richie responds softly, feeling Eddie’s light breaths against the nape of his neck, his slow breathing can only mean sleep has taken over the small boy.

Richie has bared each and every emotion for only his lover to see, and tonight, he doesn’t feel vulnerable like that one night in Bill’s basement, he feels complete although his heart is shattered.


	16. Chapter 16

The early morning fog trickles down stems of grass as the two boys walk to school in their messy clothes, exhaustion written on their faces.

“It’s too early for this shit.” Richie complains, pulling out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. “I’m counting down the days until summer break.”

Richie brings the cigarette towards his lips, lighting it up before letting the bitter smoke fill his lungs.

Eddie watches the smoke rise from the cancer stick Richie holds between his fingertips, the smell of the smoke used to make him gag at first, but now he has become accustom with the scent because it reminds him of Richie. Just like how Eddie now associates the smell of Bill’s laundry detergent with Richie, their clothes both smell the same coming from the same household, except Richie’s scent lingers like a cigarette long after it’s burned out.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Richie says, some smoke exhales from his lips as he speaks.

“Like what?” Eddie replies as they walk side by side, their arms brush against one another occasionally, so Richie makes sure to hold the cigarette in his left hand, away from Eddie.

“Like I’m _meant_ to be looked at,” Richie continues, deeply inhaling another drag from his cigarette, his cheeks hollowing as he does so. “I’m not used to it.”

“Well you better get used to it,” Eddie responds, a smile brushes over his soft lips. “I’ve always _seen_ you.”

Nobody could see why Eddie involved himself with a boy whose love is as inconsistent as the moon. But all Richie ever wanted was to be _seen_ , and to Eddie, he is a masterpiece no darkness can hide.

Richie smiles, and Eddie’s never seen a smile quite like it. His mesmerising smile is meaningful, it is _so_ sincere that it makes Eddie’s heart flutter.

Richie flicks some of the ash from his cigarette, looking over to the small boy who makes him feel something besides sadness. “I need to go into town next week and pick out a present for Bill,” Richie continues. “Do you want to come with me?”

With summer break just around the corner, there’s another countdown that calls for celebration, Bill Denbrough’s birthday.

“Your mom said she’d go with me when I was banging her last night so… it’s fine if you say no.” Richie adds, throwing the stub of his cigarette on the ground as they get closer to the schools entrance.

Eddie rolls his eyes. “’Course I’ll go with you dipshit.” He says, then he looks down and realises one of the buttons on his peach polo shirt is undone from being in such a rush this morning, so he does up the last button before they enter the halls.

“I was thinking we could make him a cake,” Richie says. “Do you think he’d like that?” Richie asks, snapping his gaze over to the small boy as they walk through the halls.

“Yeah,” Eddie smiles at Richie’s thoughtful idea. “I think he would love it.”

The pair stop walking when they near Eddie’s locker and see Bill kneeling on one knee, scrubbing away the graffiti from Eddie’s locker.

“Bill?” Eddie says, putting a soothing hand on the back of his shoulder to gain his attention.

Bill lifts his head up and sees his two best friends looking down at him, so he stands up to their level, ringing out the wet sponge.

“You didn’t have to clean my locker for me.” Eddie says softly, a grateful smile forms on his face, he’s touched by the stuttering boys act of kindness, though he’s not shocked, it’s such a Bill Denbrough move.

“I know I didn’t _h-have_ to,” Bill responds, throwing the sponge in the bucket of water which is now a murky red colour. “I _w-wanted_ to.”

Eddie stands on his tip toes, pulling in his best friend for a hug. Bill smiles, lowering his chin on Eddie’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around the small boy.

Bill looks at Richie stood behind Eddie, watching them hug. “R-Rich, are y-you alright?” Bill asks, gently pulling away from Eddie.

Richie didn’t come home last night, but Bill wasn’t worried, not like the first time he didn’t show up, he knows Richie has a tendency to go to Eddie when things go wrong.

“I will be once you’ve finished scrubbing the locker that looks like Eddie’s mom’s vagina on Halloween.” Richie responds, and it’s his way of putting his past behind him and his new family forward.

Richie is a person who covers up his insecurities with jokes, and he hides his feelings with carefully thought out deflections.

Bill thinks that will _never_ change.


	17. Chapter 17

The two boys stare down the result of their baking attempt, and it’s a disappointment to say the least. Richie is sure he messed up the ingredients, and then Eddie heated up the oven too much, thinking the cake would bake faster.

“How did we fuck it up so bad?!” Richie says to Eddie.

“I don’t know,” Eddie replies as they continue to stare at the burned mess sat out on the worktop. “Maybe we missed out an ingredient or something.”

Richie huffs, grabbing a knife and attempting to scrape off the black burned parts, but that’s practically the whole cake, so there is little to save.

“If we cover it in powdered sugar maybe he won’t notice…” Eddie says, trying to find the good in the disaster of a cake.

Richie gives up trying to salvage the cake, instead, he moves over to Eddie, turning the chestnut haired boy towards him before reaching into the pocket of the pink apron he wears around his waist and pulls out the written ingredients.

Richie adjusts his glasses, scanning his eyes over the paper in attempt to figure out where they went wrong. “Shit, fuck,” Richie curses. “I added too much flour.”

Richie never had baking skills to begin with, so when Eddie said to just follow the instructions. It sounded easy in theory, but in practice, Richie made so many mistakes, even when he followed the instructions Eddie wrote down step by step.

Richie and baking clearly do not get along.

Richie runs a hand through his hair, some of the pale flour transfers through his dark curls. “Bill doesn’t deserve a fucked up cake, Jesus, he deserves so much more.” Richie says, his tone holding both frustration and sadness.

Richie really wants to make Bill’s birthday a special occasion. But if he can’t even put together a cake, then how special would the actual day be?

“It’s okay,” Eddie says, rubbing a soothing had over Richie’s back. “We’ll try again.”

Richie wants to oppose, because if there is one thing Richie Tozier is good at, it’s running away when things get difficult, but when he see’s Eddie’s encouraging smile, his defences crumble. “Ah say… let’s get to work then old spote.” Richie says in his southern voice.

Eddie chuckles, going in one of the drawers to find Richie an apron. “Wear this,” Eddie says, throwing the apron to Richie. “Better not get dirty this time around.”

Eddie grabs some fresh strawberries. “First, you can slice these strawberries.” Eddie instructs, handing over the fruit to Richie.

“Don’t be afraid of messing up the smaller strawberries,” Eddie explains. “But try to make the bigger strawberries look nice, they’re going on top of the cake for decoration.”

“Shit, Eds,” Richie says as he ties his apron behind his waist. “When did you become such the chef?”

Eddie smiles as he begins to measure out the flour. “I’ve always liked baking, even when mistakes happen.” Eddie looks over to Richie. “I like baking even more when I get to do it with you.”

That line throws Richie off for a moment, the words leave Eddie’s peach lips so casually, as if he never gets tired of complimenting Richie, letting him know just how much he means to him.

Richie Tozier will never be able to understand what he did to deserve Eddie Kaspbrak.

Richie smiles, watching Eddie effortlessly crack an egg without getting bits of shell into the mixture, seeing the small boy occupied, Richie goes to his own task of chopping up the strawberries; he has a feeling Eddie is keeping him away from the preparation of the mixture, but he doesn’t mind, as long as he can be useful in some way.

While slicing the strawberries, he takes a glance at the sunshine boy next to him, everything Eddie does is graceful, unlike Richie who is the complete opposite.

Eddie notices him staring as he’s mixing the cake batter. “What?”

“Nothing,” Richie pauses. “I just think you’re _cute_ , that’s all.”

It’s rare for Richie to be so open, for once he does not cover up his feelings with a joke or impression.

Eddie smirks as he stirs the thick mixture, his right arm begins to ache, so he moves the bowl over to his left arm. “You’re delusional, Tozier.”

“It’s true,” Richie says, pushing the chopped up strawberries to the side. “I saw what a cutie you are the first time I met you, Eds.”

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie says habitually. “ _Eddie.”_ He corrects, but he still has a bashful smile on his face, only Richie is capable of making his cheeks blush like cherry blossoms.

Eddie pours the mixture into a baking tray before putting it in the oven, Richie rests his elbows on the worktop as Eddie begins to explain what they have to do next.

“Once it’s done we can leave it to cool and then I’ll cover it with chocolate frosting and you can decorate the edges with strawberries,” Eddie continues. “Then we can write Bill a birthday message with the icing pens.”

Richie nods, watching Eddie grab the mixing bowl that previously contained the cake batter.

“Do you think this is safe to eat?” Eddie asks, looking down at the remaining mixture in the bowl.

Richie shrugs, and then Eddie picks up some of the mixture with his pointer finger and licks it.

“How does it taste?” Richie asks, unable to keep his eyes off of Eddie’s tongue.

“It’s good,” Eddie responds, picking up more of the batter and moving the same finger closer to Richie’s face. “Wanna try it?”

Richie looks at Eddie’s finger then to his eyes, taken back by Eddie’s sudden boldness.

Eddie turns a rosy shade of red, but before he can recoil in on himself, Richie grabs Eddie’s hand and puts his finger into his mouth, slowly sucking the batter from his index finger. Eddie doesn’t break eye contact as he watches Richie press his tongue over his finger, turning an even deeper shade of red.

Richie let’s go of Eddie’s hand. “Tastes good.” He says nonchalantly.

The timer dings, making them both jump, so Eddie turns off the oven and takes the cake out. It’s not burned this time around, so they leave it to cool for a few minutes. Once it’s cooled down, Eddie frosts the surface area of the cake with chocolate frosting, and Richie places the strawberries around the perimeter with precision.

Finally, Richie adds the finishing touch of the icing. He writes ‘Happy Birthday Bill!’ with trembling hands on the centre of the cake, and Eddie’s heart swells with affection watching Richie put so much effort into something he never had experience in, his parents must have never done things like this with him.

Curious about how the frosting tastes, Eddie picks some up from the spoon and tries it, then he looks in Richie’s direction when he hears him laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Eddie asks.

Richie grabs Eddie’s chin and leans in, kissing him deeply for a few seconds before pulling away from the kiss with a cheeky smile on his lips.“You had some frosting on the corner of your mouth.” Richie says.

Eddie lets out a flustered laugh, he has always admired Richie’s warm honey smile from afar, and he’s happy he gets to see him smile so much more now.

They both look at the cake they made together, and now all they have to do is keep Bill from seeing it until his birthday.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is pretty heavy at the end so keep my tags in mind with this chapter.

The shopping mall is the same temperature inside no matter if it’s sweltering summer or not. Richie and Eddie become hot and bothered rather quickly as they browse down different aisles to find Bill a birthday present.

“What about a new flannel?” Eddie suggests, running his fingers through the clothes he passes on the rack as they continue to walk down the aisle.

Richie shakes his head. “He already owns like 100 flannels.” Richie continues to walk, his sneakers squeak on the tile floor which makes an unpleasant sound.

“What’s wrong with that?” Eddie continues. “I own like 100 pairs of shorts.” He mimics Richie, looking down at his yellow and blue block shorts.

“101 would be too many.” Richie responds, distracted by the wide range of clothes around them.

Richie has no idea what to get Bill, he seems to already have everything he wants, and he’s so humble about it.

So Richie figures to buy him something he doesn’t already own.

An item in particular attracts Richie, so he goes over to the rack and spins it around. “Do you think he’ll like these?” Richie asks, taking a pair of red socks with fiery flames on the side off of the hook and holding them up for Eddie to see.

“Uh.” Eddie hesitates. 

Eddie hates Richie’s ‘fun’ choice of socks, he thinks they’re so ‘in your face’. _What’s wrong with just a pair of plain white socks?_

But it doesn’t matter what he thinks, Richie’s sense of fashion seems to be rubbing off on Bill lately, he’s started wearing denim jackets, and Eddie almost mistook Bill for Richie last week when they all went for ice cream.

Bill might actually like these crazy pair of socks, and that’s all what matters.

“Yeah.” Eddie eventually responds.

Richie sticks his thumb up at Eddie, satisfied with what he has decided to get Bill, he leans forward to find a cleaner pair of socks from the back that are in Bill’s shoe size.

Eddie checks his watch, and he realises they have been aimlessly browsing the mall for two hours. The first hour they spent trying on sunglasses, tasting new ice cream samples at Scoops Ahoy and testing unreleased video games at the electronic store. The second hour they actually started searching for a present for Bill since that’s the reason they came out to the mall in the first place.

Their bikes have been left unattended for 2 hours, they locked them up at the back of the mall, but that won’t stop someone from trying to steal them.

“You go pay, I’ll go get our bikes.” Eddie tells him. “That’s if they’re still there.”

Richie doesn’t see why Eddie doesn’t just wait for him to pay and they go get their bikes together, but he doesn’t question it, and instead he goes over to the cash register as Eddie exits the store.

Eddie travels down the escalator, his small fame pushes past busy shoppers as he breaks outside, he sighs in relief when he sees their bikes are still where they left them.

He walks over and begins to unchain Richie’s bike first, Richie’s lock is pretty easy to take off, but he always struggles to undo his own bike lock, it’s _that_ secure.

As Eddie mindlessly fumbles with his lock, a menacing voice whispers down his ear, their words fanning the back of his neck. “Nice shorts, girly boy.”

Eddie inhales a shaky breath, dropping his paddle lock as he slowly turns around to face the person who makes his life in school a living hell.

“What are you doing in an empty parking lot by yourself?” Henry says, looking over Eddie’s shoulder at the two bikes behind him. “Hmm, I see Tozier’s bike, but the fucking fag is nowhere in sight…”

Eddie swallows nervously, trying to make space between him and Henry, but to no avail.

“Are you waiting to suck his dick behind the mall?” Henry continues. “You dirty little queer.”

“Fuck you.” Eddie spits. “You don’t scare me anymore you mullet wearing asshole.”

“Well you should be scared,” Henry snaps, his evil eyes glaring at Eddie. “Did you really think I’d let you and four eyes get away with what you said to me last week?!” Henry laughs manically.

Henry forcefully grabs Eddie’s shoulders, holding him still as he swiftly punches him in the gut, it winds Eddie and leaves him sinking to the floor.

Eddie’s coughing and gasps for air are the only thing that can be heard in the empty car park, Henry kneels down, squatting in front of Eddie. “Are you scared now?” Henry sneers. “Just wait until I get my hands on _Richie_.”

Anger runs through Eddie’s veins when Henry holds Richie’s name in his crooked unclean mouth, so he kicks him in the jaw as he desperately struggles to stand to his feet.

“You little shit!” Henry growls. Before Eddie can even stand up and make a break for it, Henry grabs him by the collar of his shirt, he straddles Eddie to keep him still, and then he punches him in the face.

He punches Eddie so hard it makes his nose bleed, the deep red shade of blood drips from his nose like a broken faucet. Eddie’s ears ring and his vision blurs from the sharp fist to the face.

Henry extends his strong arm, ready to punch Eddie again, but then somebody rips Henry’s weight off of him.

Richie had exited the mall, stuffing the pair of socks and receipt into his pocket. He expected to see Eddie standing outside the entrance holding their bikes, instead, he rounded the corner and his eyes landed on the petite boy helplessly trying to get Henry Bowers off of him. 

“Pick on someone your own size you psychotic fuck!” Richie screams, slamming Henry into the wall.

“Woah,” Henry laughs. “I’m not your next client you _crazy_ motherfucker, he’s over there,” Henry motions to Eddie, who holds a trembling hand up to his nose, crimson trickles down his fingers. “I’m not sure he’ll be able to suck your dick now though… I bust his face up pretty bad.” Henry adds.

Richie’s not a fighter, but when his eyes cast down to Eddie hurt on the floor, all he sees is flashes of red.

He punches Henry in the face, and before the bully can even let out a groan, he punches him again. “You wanna see crazy?! I’ll show you fucking crazy.”

Henry hisses in a breath when Richie punches him for the third time, his bottom lip starts to bleed, but he’s stronger than Richie, a few punches to the face is nothing to him.

Henry pushes Richie, grabbing a fist full of his t shirt before his fist connects with the lanky boys face, punching him harder and harder until it's no longer a fight, it’s a straight up beat down.

Richie can’t feel the pain from the punches, he’s numb, the adrenaline courses through his body and all he wants to do is get Eddie.

And by chance, Richie hears police sirens, he can see the flashing blue light reflect off of the dumpster. Everyone in Derry knows Henry’s father is a cop, and for some reason, Henry is _very_ afraid of his father.

The colour from Henry’s face drains, he lets go of Richie’s shirt and makes a break for it, he runs even though he’s limping, he doesn’t stick around long enough to see the cop car drive straight by them.

Richie groans, standing to his feet. He frantically searches for the dazed boy, sat with his knees up to his chest, still holding a hand up to his busted little nose.

Richie kneels down in front of him, slowly extending his hand to Eddie’s face. It seems as though Eddie’s having a panic attack; his breaths are uneven, his whole body is shaking with panic.

Richie cups Eddie’s cheek, hoping it will soothe his panic away. “Eddie, look at me,” Richie says, turning Eddie’s face towards him, forcing Eddie to focus on him as he caresses his thumb over his cheek. “Look at me.”

Eddie looks up at Richie, he feels as though his heart is going to break out of his chest, he can’t breathe, his chest feels heavy and he can hardly focus on Richie’s voice.

“Hey, Eds, come on,” Richie worries, he reaches over to the fannypack strapped around Eddie’s waist, he frantically unzips it, pulling out his blue inhaler as fast as possible.

Richie guides the mouthpiece to Eddie’s lips and he releases the trigger for Eddie. Relief washes over the small boy within seconds, his breaths become fuller but they’re still uneven, his small frame trembling under Richie’s touch.

“Breathe,” Richie instructs, taking a deep breath in with Eddie and exhaling at the same time. “How about we count? Let’s do that, shall we?” Richie suggests, trying to to calm Eddie down, he hates to see him like this.

“One.” Richie says, waiting on Eddie to repeat the same number.

“One.” Eddie repeats.

“Good,” Richie nods, moving onto the next number. “Two.”

“Come on, Eds,” Richie encourages. “What’s next?”

“Three.”

“What’s your favourite colour, Eddie?” Richie asks, distracting the boy from his bloody nose and tight lungs.

“Yellow.”

“Let me-“ Richie hesitates, looking behind his shoulder. “Let me go get you a bottle of water.”

“No Rich,” Eddie whimpers, not wanting Richie to leave him here alone. “Don’t leave me.”

“Okay, okay,” Richie soothes, letting his hands run down to Eddie’s bare knees. "Just a few seconds, Eds.”

Richie pats his body and digs his hands into his pockets, pulling out a tissue. He cautiously holds the tissue to Eddie’s gushing nose, tilting his head forward to stop Eddie’s nose from bleeding.

“What if I have a blood clot or something?!” Eddie pipes up, his voice tired and weak. “I don’t wanna die, not in a dark alley.” Eddie’s voice trembles.

To prevent Eddie panicking further, Richie moves closer so he can pull Eddie in his lap. “You’re fine,” Richie assures, delicately wiping Eddie’s face clean when his nose finally stops bleeding. “Nothing bad is going to happen to you, Eds, not while you’re in my arms.”

And as Richie holds him close, Eddie understands how even when they’re surrounded in gloom, he can still be at peace in Richie’s arms.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am just warning you now that this chapter contains sexual content. i don’t like smut, but i know some people do so i suffered writing this for you.
> 
> if you find smut a little uncomfortable, do not worry, the final chapter is free from that.

“How’s your nose?” Richie asks Eddie as he leans forward to grab the department store bag next to the basement steps, pulling out packets of balloons and streamers.

“A bit painful when I sneeze, but otherwise alright.” Eddie replies bashfully, cherry blossoms bloom on his cheeks as he watches Richie unravel the streamers.

A few days have passed since their beat down outside the mall, and now Eddie has a small barely visible bruise under his left eye.

Richie isn’t one to worry, hell, his own superficial injuries don’t even bother him, but it’s different with Eddie. Richie has _never_ cared about someone as much as Eddie; he has fallen in love with the blush of the cherry blossom, and the delicate scent of lavender fabric softener and apple juice.

He has fallen in love with Eddie Kaspbrak.

Eddie unconsciously moves closer to Richie, helping him unravel the steamers. “How long do you think it’s gonna take us to finish up all the decorations?”

Richie stretches to put up the streamer at the top of the staircase. “Probably an hour,” Richie says. “But if you’re going to be blowing up the balloons then- fuck, maybe 2 days.”

“Beep Beep Rich.” Eddie says, playfully glaring at the taller boy.

Richie has slowly gained confidence since Eddie and Bill entered his life, he no longer sees every little comment as a personal attack.

He’s healing.

“Sharon and Zack won’t be back for a while,” Richie makes known. “They’re keeping Bill away so he doesn’t ruin the surprise.” 

“Do you think he knows?” Eddie looks up at Richie, putting up the other side of the streamer.

Richie shakes his head. “I hid all these decorations in my underwear draw, so unless he goes snooping around in there- then I think his birthday party will be a surprise for him.”

After some silence, finishing the streamers and blowing up a few balloons, Richie unexpectedly pours his heart out to Eddie.

“Bill knows how important you are to me, but do you know that Eddie?” Richie says, earning the small boys attention. “You once said it’s the people who build a home in your heart who _feel_ like home, being with someone you _love_ no matter where you are,” Richie continues. “It’s _you_.”

Eddie has always been so cautious with Richie’s heart, so careful. Eddie’s presence comforts him like nothing else, since the very beginning when Richie chose to partner up with Eddie. He makes Richie feel like he means something, he gave Richie the ability to open up to him, and he recognises Richie’s insecurities and still sees him as a whole person.

Eddie understands to a certain extent that this is Richie’s way of saying that he _loves_ him. He just doesn’t know how to say it, because he has never been shown affection, nobody has ever said ‘I love you’ to Richie, so he’s never had the opportunity to say it back.

But that’s soon about to change.

“ _I love you_.” Eddie is the first to say those 3 words that make Richie’s heart stop in a good way, he leans in a little to place a kiss on the corner of Richie’s mouth.

Eddie’s familiar peach lips slowly brush over Richie’s own, lingering like the soft taste of peaches under summer skies.

“I’m _in_ love with you, Eds,” Richie says back, his warm breath fans over Eddie’s lips, begging to be kissed. “Let me _show_ you how much."

Eddie’s eyes drift shut as Richie kisses him, a long, sweet kiss that has Eddie sighing into his mouth.

Richie continues to kiss him, the kiss is deep and a little bit desperate as he clumsily trips over Eddie’s feet and he stumbles just as Eddie’s feet reach the end of his bed, causing both them to fall back onto the mattress.

Richie breaks the kiss for a moment, looking down at Eddie, his heart squeezes at the image of Eddie underneath him, blinking a few times to make sure he is not dreaming.

Richie kisses the bruise under his eye, gently pressing his palms on Eddie’s quaking knees. “Are you sure you want this?”

Eddie tenderly strokes his thumb over Richie’s lips, sensitive and red from kissing. “I’m sure.” Eddie says, coaxing Richie in for another kiss.

As they're taking each other’s clothes off, Richie rummages through his bedside table, grabbing a condom and ripping it open before putting it on himself without breaking eye contact. He brushes his fingertips across the curve of Eddie’s hipbone, hooking his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts.

Eddie’s breath becomes caught at Richie’s actions, he shifts under Richie’s weight, unable to tear his eyes away from him.

Richie kisses him tenderly, pouring every ounce of love into the kiss, and Eddie’s eyes flutter shut as light pressure slips inside of him, his lips part to exhale as Eddie mentally reminds himself to breathe. Eddie feels Richie slide further into him, he whimpers but it’s a noise that escapes his lips that doesn't sound completely painful.

Richie goes slow at first, barely having a rhythm. Eddie wraps his arms around Richie’s neck, he can feel Richie trembling, holding himself back from completely taking him and going too fast. It makes Eddie’s heart beat fast with affection, knowing Richie is being so gentle with him, not wanting to be rough and make their first time a painful experience for Eddie.

“Oh- fuck!” Eddie gasps when a longer thrust makes his body feel good, the slight pain turning into pleasure.

“Does that feel good?” Richie asks, repeating the motion and Eddie whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut and nodding frantically.

Richie still moves slowly, looking for any signs of discomfort, but the pleasure overtakes Eddie’s body in waves each time Richie locks on that particular angle that makes small moans escape his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful.” Richie murmurs against Eddie’s neck as they build up a faster pace they are both comfortable with.

Eddie bites back a sob when Richie’s movements turn into a slow grind, each long pull and stride makes Eddie cry out in pleasure, his fingertips lightly pull at Richie’s dark hair at the nape of his neck. 

Richie groans, pressing his body against Eddie and making him see stars, the pleasure is so overwhelming that Eddie can only focus on the curses that escape from Richie’s mouth, and the next thing he knows the mattress dips next to him and their bodies are entangled, their souls intertwined.

Richie’s fingertips pour into the indents of Eddie’s ribcage as he holds him tighter to his chest. Eddie can feel snowflakes between his ribs as he shivers under Richie’s delicate touch.

And when Eddie looks up at Richie adoringly, he’s met with his loving smile.

His smile is a melody, that rare smile Eddie fell in love with at first glance will always manage to make Eddie feel loved, even in the absence of intimacy.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> final chapter!

Eddie hears Richie running down the basement stairs in a hurry, he looks over to the eager boy who almost misses a step but saves himself from falling by grabbing the banister before lightly cursing to himself.

“Bill’s just pulled up!” Richie announces, taking one last glance around the room, making sure they have forgotten nothing.

The decorations are up, their homemade cake is on the coffee table along with Bill’s presents neatly wrapped in purple paper.

Richie is positive he has done everything possible, and now the wait is over.

Richie looks around for a place to hide, bumping into Eddie in the process when they both dive behind the couch. As they both crouch behind the suede couch, Eddie hands Richie a confetti popper, keeping quiet as they look at each other with content smiles, their eyes sparkling brighter than the milky way.

The two boys listen for Bill’s cautious footsteps that travel down the wooden steps and echo through the basement, and when Richie hears the familiar creak on the final step, he jumps out along with Eddie, pulling the party poppers.

“Surprise!” Richie and Eddie say in union, their hearts melting at the sight of Bill’s huge smile as the multicoloured confetti rains down in his direction.

“Happy Birthday Bill.” Richie tells Bill, walking over to the birthday boy, smiling as he places a party hat on Bill’s head, securing the elastic under his jaw for him.

“I d-don’t know what to s-say.” Bill smiles in surprise, looking around the decorated basement at the amount of effort the two have put in for him as his infamous dimples make an appearance.

Eddie grabs Bill’s hand, pulling him over to their set up on the coffee table. The first thing Bill sees is the cake Richie and Eddie made for him; it’s a simple chocolate cake with shaky handwriting on the top which reads ‘Happy Birthday Bill!’ It looks like a 4th grader made it, and not even the smartest 4 grader in the class, just like a deeply average 4th grader.

It isn’t the most perfect cake ever made, but for Bill, it’s the most beautiful cake he has ever seen, _his_ birthday cake.

Eddie situates himself on the floor cross legged, nudging his gift towards Bill, Bill sits down next to him and Richie sits on the opposite end of the coffee table, watching as Bill begins to unwrap Eddie’s gift.

Bill opens a journal, it is plain black with gold rimmed edges, and on the first page Eddie has already written a message for Bill.

TO BILL; FOR WHEN YOUR STORIES NEED A PERMANENT PLACE TO GO, WRITE THEM DOWN HERE.

“You’ve always been so good at telling stories,” Eddie tells him. “Even with your stutter.”

“Eddie…” Bill trails off, grinning at the thoughtful present his long time best friend has gifted to him. “Thank y-you.” Bill says, looking over to Eddie whose smile is just as big as Bill’s.

Richie’s present is next, he slides it over the table and Bill picks up the present, he tears off a small piece of paper and already sees the neon red flames that decorate the socks.

Bill tilts his head back, a burst of laughter escapes his lips at Richie’s gift. “I love them,” Bill says. “Thank you, R-Rich.”

“Someone’s got to show you what _real_ fashion is.” Richie replies with his usual humour, then, he has one more thing left for Bill.

He pulls out a birthday card sealed in a white envelope, sliding it over to Bill.

Bill looks down at the card in his hands, then back up at Richie. He tears the seal, pulling out a blue birthday card that has a paper boat printed on the front; Bill had shown Richie the paper boats he used to make for Georgie, paper crafts being another talent of Bill’s that would bring joy to his younger brother.

So Richie wanted to commemorate him in some way for Bill, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Georgie loved b-boats.” Bill smiles fondly as his little brother crosses his mind, though he’s on his mind all the time, he’ll always be grieving for him, but the guilt doesn’t weigh on him so heavily now.

He is the best big brother there ever is, Richie makes sure he knows that each and every day.

Bill opens up the card from Richie, and it reads;

_Big Bill,_

_I’m writing this as you’re sat right next to me, you’re too busy watching some chick flick to notice the words I write on this card, but if you do happen to ask what I’m writing… it’s a love letter for Eddie’s mom._

_What better day than your birthday to tell you how much you mean to me, how much you have changed my life for the better._

_Before you entered my life, I didn’t know what it was like to have a proper family. My parents never understood me and because of that I always felt undeserving of love._

_There was a point in time where I had nothing, there was so much bad in my life and I didn’t know how to get out from underneath it all._

_But then you saved me._

_Even before you found me on the streets and offered me a place to stay, you’ve always been there. You made a conscious effort to talk to me at school, to check in on me, you never saw me for my struggles. I can never thank you enough for that._

_Bill Denbrough, you are my constant, you showed me what it feels like to have a proper family, because you’re my brother._

_I couldn’t be here without you._

_Rich._

Bill swallows the dry lump in his throat, holding back his tears as he looks up from his card and over to Richie, the dark haired boy already has his gaze on him, sending him a teary smile.

“Rich-” Bill’s chin quivers as he folds the card away, pulling out something for Richie. “I h-have something for you.”

“But- it’s not my birthday.” Richie says with watery eyes, hesitantly taking the item from Bill.

Eddie notices the way Richie cautiously looks over to him, so he nods, urging the beautiful boy to open what has been handed to him.

Eddie Kaspbrak has always seen the beauty in Richie Tozier, before anyone else.

When Richie mindlessly gazes out of the window in class, he is beautiful then. When he laughs at his own jokes in the arcade, he is beautiful then. When ribbons of moonlight reflect brightly off of his glasses as he looks up at the silver moon through Eddie’s window, he is beautiful then. And when he trips down the steps and curses to himself, he is beautiful then.

And he is beautiful now.

Richie opens it, scanning his eyes over the paper in his hands, they’re adoption papers.

Sharon, Zack and Bill _want_ to adopt him into their family.  
  
Bill had gone with his parents to pick up the adoption papers months ago, the very same night Richie was mad at the choppy haired boy for bringing Eddie over to ‘babysit’ him. Eddie had known all along, but it’s something Richie never saw coming.

“What?!” Richie says in disbelief, unable to process what is happening even though it’s right in front of him in black and white.

“My parents and I wuh-want to adopt you,” Bill sniffs. “That’s only if-ff you w-want to.”

Richie’s silence is louder than any train wreck. 

Richie Tozier has been hurt by too many, himself included. He’s damaged, that much is clear, but who can blame him, he means no harm.

He _never_ did.

A long tear traces down Richie’s pale cheek, and just like that, the floodgates open.

“Yeah,” Richie’s voice trembles. “I’d like to be adopted.” He adds, laughing through his tears.

Bill laughs with him, blinking away tears and wiping them away with the sleeve of his green flannel shirt. He looks over to Eddie, his warm smile surfaces the room once again, their sunshine love for one another is so immense, so bright they feel each and every emotion, painful or happy.

Richie, Bill and Eddie.

No matter where they are, the things they go through, the challenges they face.

They are a _real family._


End file.
